finds
while i've been brainstorming these past few months for blue canary, i've been finding little snippets of books that have been inspiring me. i thought i'd write a few of these down, not only for my reference, but because i want to share. 8^)P
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i discovered this while looking through a book of poems. the first thing i thought of after i read it was Amelia and Ferdinand.

Hope

Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings a tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb a me.
-Emily Dickenson

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These also caught my eye while re-reading Madeleine L'Engle's "Time Quartet". The quotes are from the second book, A Wind in the Door.

"Then he rose up into the night like a great, flapping bird, flew, screaming across the sky, became a rent, an emptiness, a slash of nothingness-"
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" 'You say he was like a dark bird, but a bird that was nothingness, and that he tore the sky?' "

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If Ferdinand to Amelia is not just happiness, but hope and light as well, then if he is protecting her, then surely there would be an opposite, something to protect her from...birds of darkness, shadow and void. 8^) brainstorming is fun!

normally, i would be in a little pocket of guilt and shame located under a rock somewhere for letting my comic go so long without a true update, but as i delve into who these characters are and brainstorm on their histories, i'm glad i stopped when i did. now, i can restart the comic and put in little hints and foreshadowing of these things as i go along. i can actually tell a story instead of just trying to continue an adventure and make it funny every week. not, that i'm going to stop the humor, but..well, you understand.
don't get me wrong, i still feel like a poser, a fake and a big flake for stopping my comic and just vanishing like i did; like i have no right to even call myself a cartoonist, but now i have a sense a purpose as to where i'm leading the characters, and they have more a say in how they go there.

i've started writing a script for the first chapter. this time when i start drawing, i will know where i'm going.

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oh, btw-thanks jo, kellie and everyone else for the prayers. i'm sorry i worried you guys, but i am feeling back to my normal self, except now i'm dreading the 7th. 9.9 oy.

not good
well, last night was very surreal to me.
i hate to admit this, but i should back up and explain somethings, the nature of which is a bit embarrassing to me.
when i was in high school i have a colonoscopy for a bit of blood with my bowel movements. it was nothing major, just a small tear and not enough fiber. every now and then, the problem would resurface. well, after it did last night, i got really sick.
flu like symptoms, i was shiverring and could not get warm. i felt light-headed. i called mom and she took me to the e.r.

i started vomitting and they discovered my blood pressure was too low.
before i knew it *bam* i was on an i.v.
this is when i got a little scared. i've never been this sick before.
they got me to stop throwing up, did some bloodwork and discovered that my potassium was too low. (i will never wish having to drink potassium chloride solution on anyone, no matter how i dislike them. that stuff is beyond nasty. there is no way to describe it.)

they checked my blood pressure again after 1 bag of sodium chloride via i.v.
still too low. i got a another bag. the stuff they gave me for the nausea made me sleepy, so i slept through most of this...

after that bag, it was still low, but higher than it had been. i was released and mom took me home. i slept a lot and took a sick day from work.
i really most have made my parent's worry, but mostly i really freaked ken out. that the only bad thing about his being back in school...he couldn't be here and i think that just made it worse for him. i know i wish he was here.

they referred me to a doctor for a follow up today. my blood pressure is back up to normal. they did some more bloodwork and scheduled me for a colonoscopy on the 7th. ug. i hate getting ready for those things. all the laxatives they make you take and the day brfore, i'll be on a clear liquid diet. yuck. but maybe we can finally get this solved and put behind me.

so, i'm sorry if i've freaked anyone out. i'm going back to sleep now.

strange morning and asian cuisine
today has been interesting to say the least.
first off, this morning, our new back warehouse receiving guy walks into my office.
he seems nervous and stammers as he speaks.
apparrently he was looking for friendship and our route supervious and warehouse manager suggested that he ask if i was dating anyone.
9.9 oy!
didn't those two get it through their thick skulls that the guy i showed up to the christmas party with was my boyfriend, meaning i.e. that i am spoken for? some people!!
i do hope, though, that i wasn't too mean to the poor receiving guy. i'm grouchy early in the morning.

jeremy, our i.t. director from our texarkana location, was at our office today to fix any computer woes.
the guy is as nerdy as me and i'm one of the few in the office who actually knows what he's talking about when he starts conversing about system updates, bandwidth and t1s or rpgs and character sheets, so we get along well.
and when he's in town we go out for asian food. call it a tradition between geeks.
we used to go to "the king and i" a thai place on highland, but last year it closed. i still don't know why.
ken and i still miss that place's spring rolls. *sigh*

anyhoo, a japanese steakhouse opened here a few months ago and i have fallen in love with the place.
i can't get food there all the time, because it's not cheap, but the lunch prices are reasonable and the food's a lot healthier than the fast food norm. that and they make superb philly rolls and udon!

so, we got a couple of bento boxes and some shumai dumplings and proceeded to pig out.
jerms, i discovered, is very fond of pickled ginger and wasabi, even though the heat induces pain and convulsions.
he made faces, pumped his fists and jumped in the air.
"they're not convulsions," he says to me, "it's cheering."
"coulda fooled me," i reply.
"ok, it's convulsive cheering, but..."

lol 8^) he is so weird sometimes.
i just had to share that.

i'm also wondering how ken's day is going so far. all of jerms' goofiness made me miss ken's goofiness even more. 8^(

eating leftovers
apparently, the world had decided that i was too hungry and the good Lord has blessed me with a plethora of leftovers.
leftover ma po tofu ken made last week for dinner last night (*yummy!*), leftover taco soup dad made this weekend for lunch and leftover chinese from last night for tonight's supper. (beef and broccoli, for the curiously minded. though i did pick out the broccoli. can't stand the stuff.)
and to top it all off, i still have loads of that taco soup in the fridge. no, kit-chan will not be going hungry anytime soon, though i may grow bored of what i'm eating. 8^)P

chinese.. hey, that reminds me...

once again, it's a
fortune cookie moment
GONG!

"You are going to have some new clothes.
Daily Numbers: 2, 4, 1"

is it me, or did the writer of this fortune stop trying? it's the most boring one i've read yet, though strangley odd if read with the "in bed" rule.
i mean, even "you will meet a tall, hansome stranger," cliched though it be, is a far better fortune than the one i recieved last night.
ah, well.

in other news, ken left for oklahoma yesterday. he called around midnight or 1a.m. (can't remember which,) to let me know he had arrived safely. i miss him. 8^( but in 8 more weeks he'll be home for spring break.
his first class today was for macromedia flash. he has so been looking forward to this class. i hope he has fun.

work went ok today. just the mundane stuff. my apartment has been looking like a dump recently, so i've been working on cleaning it. laundry, straightening and putting away stuff...tonight i'll get to work on sweeping, mopping and vaccuming.

also, i'm catching up on my reading and watching of dvd/tapes of fan stuff. mike at the comic shop let me borrow "firefly" and i still haven't gotten around to watching it. heath taped the earthsea miniseries off sci-fi for me and i've started that. it's good so far, but the mood is a little different from what i pictured in the books. i wonder if earthsea creator, Ursula K. LeGuin had a hand in the the show at all...guess i'll do a web search and see.
and i hope to finally finish The Cleric Quintet books!
i also borrowing a book from caroline on the emotional lives of cats. looks to be pretty interesting. not to mention all the books i bought on ancient Alexendria for reference to a storyline for my comic.

hmmm, guess i'd better hop offline and hop to it, huh? 8^)

been a while
sometimes i just give up on keeping up with something and come back to it later. this is true for my blogs. lots has happened.

ken has come home for the holidays, but he's fixing to go back to start his second semester. he graducated july 23rd. i'm counting down the days. it's been so wonderful having him around. i knew i missed him a lot, but i appreicate him more then ever, since he's been gone.

mom surprised me a few days ago by calling me at work just to ask what a "blog" was. something about hotdog the e-cat or something...o.0
i have no idea what that is, but i did explain the term and sent her to my book blog and my wishlist blog.

there has been a lot of stress and anxiety for me at work recently. it reached it's height during the christmas snow. i couldn't get my car to budge from the parking lot due to snow and ice. i called work to ask for a ride. first one person offered to pick me up, then he called and said someone else would. then she had car trouble. when i called again for a ride, my boss seemed to imply in her words to me that i was simply trying to squirm my way out of coming to work. one thing i truly hate is when someone simply assumes something about my character. when i'm scheduled to work, i show up even if i don't want to.
that hit my frustration point. my brother carter kicks trash cans and stabs cardboard boxes with box cutter when upset; i cry uncontrolably. and that's just what i did when i hung up. i even called dad to get a ride, that tells you right there how desperate i was. dad couldn't get his truck started and hearing how upset i was, told me to quit if they were going to force their employees out on the roads in hazardous conditions...i also tried ken, who i knew was going to be snowed in at his parent's house.
i tried calling back after ken calmed my down and got tracy, (not fossie, this is another tracy,) who couldn't give me a ride earlier due to car trouble. her husband drove her to work. they weren't going to be able to send the trucks out that day anyway, so they were just calling customers and letting them know. she said i could take a vacation day if i had one (which i did,) and that it wouldn't affect my holiday pay. yay, tracy!

i decided to stick it out here and for now, it has gotten better. but i remember that this job is only for now. it's temporary. where ever ken goes when he graduates, i'm following.
* edited...i must have forgotten what my thought was here...i just left it as a sentence fragment, so i'm deleteing it-k *

my apartment is a mess! i haen't been able to clean much since the holidays...guess what i'll be working on when ken goes back to tonkawa.
i got a new bookcase, so i'll finally be able to unpack some boxes from the move and get them out of my studio room!

and i'm still working on blue canary storys. more on that later.

i had lunch with jo on tuesday. it was great to see her again. and guess what? she dumped montgomery. she's decided to be single for awhile.