the past weekend, in review
ken and his folks were going to norfork but rain on saturday prevented that. i got to spend time with him after all. 8^)

saturday consisted of visiting with ken, of course, and going to see "the brothers grimm" with c. doug and c invited us over for dinner afterwards. it was good. we hung out at a coffee shop later. i managed to finished the pencils for page 7 of blue canary at c's house.

sunday, ken met me at my place bright and early. dad had invited us to go with him and my brother, carter, for a riverboat ride in tunica. the reason we left early is that dad and carter were looking forward to a breakfast buffett at one of the casinos. and inch to two inch thick waffles and made to omelets were some of the yummies described to me.
we can't all fit in dad's truck so ken and i were in my car. carter drove since he knew the way. dad had given carter his card so we oculd fill up in trumann. we stopped, got gas...and the engine would not stop. dad had gone on ahead but through the magic of cell phones he came back and boosted my car off. carter, ken and i took my car back to jonesboro and then piled into ken's blazer. dad was still waiting for us in trumann. dad then topped ken's gas tank off and down to tunica we went.
the boat ride was nice. we had to get our photos made first. i hate photos like these. sure, they need something to i.d. the bodies with if, God forbid, anything happen, but mostly it's a tourist ploy. 8^( ick.
the deli lunch aboard was ok, too. i didn't quite care for the texture of my bread, but the meats were good and the dessert cookie, almost as wide as my hand with all fingers spread out, was very good! homemade oatmeal raisin with pecans. delectible. the ride was calming.
entertainment was in the form of a short haired lady strumming either a banjo or a mississippi resonator. she sang a few songs i liked, but i was more interested in her playing the instruments than her singing. she was very skilled at the banjo.
after the ride, we checked out the riverport mueseum. i love museums. 8^) then dad drove on home. carter stuck with ken and myself and we took a quick drive down the street to the outlet mall. mostly to visit the chocolate shop with peanut butter cups the size of cupcakes. the dark chocolate ones are my fav.
then we headed home and took another look at my car.

dad came by my place and i could tell he was tired. it was either my battery had a short or my alternator was growing weak. dad & carter went home while ken tried to get the battery off so it could be tested for a short. no luck. he couldn't get a socket to the bottom bolt where it was attached to the engine block. about the time, my aunt had walked by. she lived in the same complex and gets exercise by walking laps around the parking lot. she has a car by the same manufacturer and reminded me of my roadside assistance plan. ken and i both decided that would be easier since my car is still under warranty and i placed the call. he dropped me by alice's for a visit and headed home.

i had a good, if way too short, visit with alice. we talked, showed each other nifty creative stuff we had been working on. i gave her an almost slightly belated birthday present (2 packages of red beads and a hobby lobby gift card) and helped her fold patterns. i always enjoy time hanging out with her. she's fun. i hope the birthday present will be useful for her. 8^)

right now, it's raining. hard. we're getting katrina's leftovers. i feel so bad for the people who suffered through her worst that it makes my morning rant look childish. good side, this drought stricken area is finally getting all the rain it missed this summer. bad side, is there will be some flash flooding.

my car is at the dealership. maybe they'll have it fixed by this afternoon. tracy wants me to come in 8-5 on wedenesday and then 8-5 on tuesdays after that. 9.9
i really need to get out of here and get a new job.
rant alert!
every morning that i come to work at this job, i get angry. mostly at the inane company i work for, but other factors maybe involved. frustration, etc.
the company treats their employees like dirt because they can. they know most of the them have families to support and can't just leave to find better work. ggggrrrrrr!

since brenda has left, it looks like it will be just me and tracy doing office stuff now. 9.9 i only hope it is temporary, but knowing how the boss lady likes to keep the overhead low, it won't be.

like i stated in earlier posts, i did not get a degree to answer phones, take orders over the phone or confirm them or do filing. i did not get a degree to do secretarial work. i'm a designer in name only here.

i'm not trying to be an intelllectual snob, but i did that sort of work while i was earning my degree. i realize i have to start from the bottom, but the bottom doesn't include this.

if the compnay really doesn't need me, why don't they just tell me instead of just shifting me around? grow a backbone people, or least get some professional courtesy, a forgien concept it maybe to you, and tell me up front! either say you don't need a designer or that you want me to work in another position. don't just go behind my back. treat people with some compassion instead of just jerking us around.
not that you'll listen. you've done it before to others and eventually you'll do it to me, if i stick around long enough. don't think that just because i used to be all happy and gullible, that i'm still that why. like the song says, "was blind, but now i see."

ggrrrrr. can't wait to leave this place. i think i'll try to brush up my portfolio and apply elsewhere even if i have to take a cut in pay, not that you guys are paying me what i'm worth in the first place. >8^(

i know i'll get over it. i'm just blowing off some steam. i also know that everything is temporary, including this job and that brings me hope, the type i can't second guess with sarcasmism or cynicism.

to acerbate my temper, yesterday my car went on the fritz. dad drove me to work.
now, i need to explain a few things before i continue my story. i have a red plastic case i use for my art stuff. 11x17 paper will fit in it, but 14x17 bristol board will not, so i use the clip on the outside to secure it to the board.
it was raining this morning. i flip the board over so it won't get wet. i get inthe building, clock in, open my office and set my art board down. that's when i notice that my comic originals for page 6 & 7 are missing. i rush back out into the rain to find them laying in the parking lot. luckily bristol is thicker than regular paper so it wasn't completely soaked, but it did get wet. 8^(
wwwaaaahhhh! i know it can prolly be fixed or worked around, but this just upsets me. at least it's still in pencil stage and had it been in inks, i usually use waterproof ink, so that would've been ok, it's just that the paper is buckled up in spots.
i may have to start cutting down my bristol board so it will fit in my art case.


as promised...
it's another [sfx]Gong![/sfx] fortune cookie moment!

"Wise men make more opportunitites than they find.
Lucky #1, 12, 16, 17, 35, 7, 45"
update-weekends, drawing, rain
i've been busy, as usual.
i'll recap the past couple of weekends here in a bit.

right now, what i'm excited about is that i'm really getting some work accompished on the blue canary's restart. i've penciled 4 pages on the past week. i'm proud of myself. 8^D if i decided to ink them, it won't take too long. what bogs me down is coloring or toning it. i'm not very good at it and it takes so long...for me anyway. i don't know any of the tricks to speed it up and still have it looking half-way decent. i just lose patience with it.
i either need a colorist or a someone with experience at laying tones, but i can't pay. all i can do is give credit. anyone know a colorist or someone experienced with tones willing to work for free?
i'll worry with it later. i'll just concentrate on pencils and story for now.
i'll post a few sneaks of the work i've done so far on my sketchblog. tim, i think you've seen some of it, but there will be something new for you, too.

i'll need to go by the comic shop soon. i doubt i have much in my file, but i still need to go check it.

ooo! it's raining! glorious rain! it hasn't rained in so long. sure am glad everyone's ordering chinese for lunch...that means i won't have to get out in the rain to get something to eat. it's chicken lo mein with white rice for the curious. expect a fortune cookie moment later today.

the past two weekends were fun.
the weekend of the 13th, i was with ken and his parents again at lake norfork. they had fun fishing. the dogs got to frolic on one of the lakes small sandy beaches (most are rock shale,) and i got to sit, relax and catch up on some reading. i found a huge mussel on that beach. ken has a photo of it somewhere. i see if i can snag a copy and will post a link to it.

this past weekend everyone stayed home. ken's parents got a new gas-powered smoker and ken was itching to try it out. let's see, there was a london broil beef roast, a pork boston butt and 2 racks of pork ribs. very yummy! ken's aunt, uncle and cousins were there, as well as his grandmother. it was nice to see them all. ken and i just bummed around, relaxed and i drew while he worked on his 3-d stuff.

i tell ya, having a boyfriend with a huge lightbox and an artograph has come in handy over the past couple of days. i've had some difficulty with getting some drawing to come out like the pencil thumbnail sketch, so i use these to things to transfer that to the paper and go from there. otherwise, i lose the life, the charm that's in the sketch. that artograph of his is nice! i think it's the prism model. it's as good as the one that kept getting stolen from ASU's art dept.
even though we done't get to interact, just be near each other as we work on our creative endeavors means a lot. 8^)


yet another...
fortune cookie moment!

"Your eyes are the windows of your soul
'don't worry-be-happy',
Lucky # 7, 11, 8, 19, 26, 35"

ok, i get a cliche and i'll have that song in my head all day. 9.9
like i said in an earlier post, the people writing these have run out of ideas.
scattered ramblings and a recap of yesterday
another busy day. i can't wait for the weekend. some relaxation time will be nice.

i've noticed the thoughts i blog are more scattered. i change the subject in mid-paragraph. perhaps because i am getting interupted a lot, but more like it just because i'm scatterbrained. not that it matters too, much. i guess this blog is like a space where i can get this stuff out be they thoughts, ideas, etc., examine it and organize them in my head. no wonder my stuff seems so cluttered when i write.

i need to post here more regularly. bingereading and scribbles&sketches get updated more often than this blog. mind, i am busy, but i need to develop a habit of updating something regularly. perhaps i can transfer that habit to my comic.

ken gave me an old blank journal earlier this week. i've been jotting down story ideas & background info for my comic. it seems that ideas and sketches are all i'm able to produce lately. at least i'm doing something on it, but it doesn't seem enough.

why do i hold myself back? am i scared of something? i know i'm ashamed for not updating regularly. it's gotten to the point where i can really consider myself a cartoonist on some days and that is just sad. it's been my goal for so long.
i wake up in the morning and go to work at douglas and i find myself angry when i get there. part of it is to do with kevin and alan. yes, i am chronically late. yes, i did get written up for it finally.
i still think that a.) he should have talked to me about having to write me up, and stuff. no, he just tossed the write up form on my desk and said, "i need you to sign this." no tact at all. >8^(
b.) i have a hard time respecting kevin and alan. true, it can get annoying their little attempts to make people jump (they hide behind corners and shout "boo!") but when they have to re-create one of these for the security cameras because it ran out of tape earlier and then show it off to everyone in the office... real professional behavior, guys. go back to high school.
i'm not saying that there can't be a little fun in the office. a joke here and there. a little chatting and goofing off to blow off some stress, but these two... *shakes head*
i think i may have rambled about this before. i'm getting like mom, repeating things.

another part of my morning anger maybe that i feel frustrated with my work-designwise and comicwise. it's like i'm wasting my time with other people's work and not my own. and it's true.

it's difficult to me to see the obvious. i'm know among my friends for being one half of the "obilvious twins," so when i finally notice that i need to look inside myself and be introspective, i find it very difficult. i second guess what i see and perceive. is what i see what others see? should i get their thoughts or try to wade through it on my own. for me, getting introspective means looking at a grime incrusted and cracked mirror. it's image isn't clear and takes alot of work to sort out. maybe that's why i usually avoid it. trying to figure out what i need to do from here isn't easy.

it also doesn't help that i have the attention span of a hyperactive ferret (ooo! shiny!) prime example: last night i interrupt a goodnight kiss from ken because i saw a luna moth. i had never seen one alive or up close before. it was roughed up with a chuck out of one wing but i was fascinated. it was elegant, despite it's ragged wings. (btw, i finished that kiss! i believe ken has come to terms with my short-attention span, but i wasn't going to leave the boy hanging over a bug, regardless of it's beauty. also, i think ken likes to show me the wildlife that does live on his parents' land. there is nothing quite like the night sky out there, away from the street lights and the orchestra of crickets, cicadas and frogs.)

i will say one thing. i see things out at his parents' place that i have only seen on tv or in books. weiner never had much beyond frogs, blue jays and mockingbirds, grasshoppers, crickets, earthworms and tons of mosquitos. i would never have seen a praying mantis up close if shalon jones hadn't brought one to class in second grade (or was it third?)
through seeing these things up close out at ken's parents, i seem to reclaim my sense of wonder, a part of my childhood that i thought i was fast losing. maybe i never saw these things when i was younger is that i simply never looked for them, never patient enough. *shrugs* so, who can blame my excitement over the luna moth?

lol speaking of which, a beetle has gotten in my office, black and about 1.5 to 2 inches long. i can
hear a skritching noise every now and then, which lets me know where he is, however the noise is starting to get on my nerves. i'll put him back outside shortly.

ok, on to yesterday's events: i got paid, which always a good thing. i worked til almost 7 at graphix and i posted to my sketchblog (the icons/avatars i mentioned eariler are finally up.)
i visited ken & saw how his new 3D project is coming along. 8^) played more katamari (i finally got star 4! i also completed star 5 and the constellations of cygnus and corona borealis.) i also got katamaris big enough to roll up people and cows! *moo!*
the music is just so darn catchy in that game. i'm

gonna have to get the soundtrack. it's a nice way to relieve stress. it's so cute, so hokey and cheesy, you can't help but smile.


making stars
since ken was nice enough to hook up his ps2 the other night just for me, i splurged and bought a game: katamari damacy. i've heard a lot about it so i decided to give it a try.

this game is so cute and corny! i love it.
jo, i think you would like this game, too. i made the first 3 stars and the constellation of cancer last night. i'm still working on star 4, but it's being snarky. sometimes i end up in areas where my katamari is too big for one area, or big enough to go to an area, but too small to get things to stick to it.
the game is addictive and fun. i'll have to get the sequel when it comes out.

the soundtrack is down right addictive. i keep humming bits to myself. very enjoyable.
this looks like a job for emergency pants!
boy, i'm clutzy this week.
yesterday, i went home for lunch and had a little clothing accident. i had put on a new pair of khakis and wash the dirty ones.

today, i was sitting at my desk at work when i lost my grip on my water glass and it spilled in my lap. >8^(
i hate wet clothes. ick.
i was going to go home and change but carter took my car to change the oil. 9.9 oy. don't get me wrong, i'm glad he's changing my oil, but talk about bad timing! of course, this is my fault. and i'll prolly be dry by the time he returns my car. good thing it was water and won't stain.

i rotated my jean skirt around so i'm not sitting in a wet spot. i looks funny to see back pockets were they are not supposed to be. plus, i got my chair all wet, too, so it's out in the sun drying.

good thing it spilled on my lap instead of my computer, but man this just further bruises my pride.


i'm tired and very whiny

ken's right. i'm stretched too thin.
i decided to take on some more design work for cindy at graphix back around march. i needed the design experience, because frankly, i wasn't getting here at douglas. it also filled up the lonely days until he came back home. (the weekend before last, btw.) it even looked like i could go to work for cindy full-time, but worries about insurance and all is crushing that idea. i work 7am to 4pm at douglas then go straight to graphix and work until 6 or 7 p.m. it helps, i get paid enough to help cover gas, sometimes more. (man, that stuff's expensive! i remember being angry when it rose to a $1.14 back in college. 9.9 that does it. my next car will be a hybrid. ) however, i hardly get enough free time to do anything! i go non-stop until it's time to sleep. 8^(
since ken has been back home, i usually go out to his 'rents place and visit. so i don't get to spend much time with him except for weekends.

this weekend was nice, though it started really busy! it soon got relaxing and ended all to quickly.
first, i needed some girl time with jo. she was moving back to lawrence on monday. so she, alice and i had dinner at tamolly's and visited back at my place. ken dropped by later and showed everyone what projects he had been working on for the past year. we played music, there was much sharing of the tunage on jo's mac (thanks, jo! i'm enjoying spamalot and the college accapella!) and a good time was had by all. jo helped me by designing a coat of arms for the Von Creepensteins. yay! hey alice! can you make them into patches? i'd like one.
jo crashed for the night and we chatted a bit in the morning.
but no sleeping in for me. nope, i was up early to get ready for the lake. ken and his folks were going and i didn't want to be left behind. mostly because i hadn't seen much of him this past year. it did come to may attention when i got home that that saturday marked 5 years that he and i have been dating. 8^) another good reason to spend time with him that weekend.

the lake was very relaxing and very much needed. just riding around on the pontoon with the family and the two dogs, goldie and lucky, relieved a lot of stress. boy, those dogs were having fun. they love the lake. ken and his dad fished, lucky and goldie tried to get every fish that caught and ken's mom controlled the trolling motor. saturday night they tried to do some night finishing. i'm glad ken's mom found that spare jacket, i would've froze. it was nice out that night. it had just rained, which cooled everything off. ken's dad wasn't too sure about going out with the rain, but it stopped shortly after we got on the lake. i had forgotten my backpack so all i could do was enjoy the ride (which was nice,) and watch ken fish.

sunday we got up and went to the lake again after breakfast. it was hot, but it cooled off considerably on the water. there was a nice breeze when we had the engine running. ahhh. it was grand. 8^) i didn't even get cold while the engine was running. it was perfect. there was more fishing. i sketched and just enjoyed the scenery. i just need to bring more snacks and get a DS or a PSP to take along. *sigh* weekends are too short and money is too tight.

we have got to find a way to go see doug and c this weekend.

i'm hardly getting anytime for sketching at all except on weekends, and i usually want to spend my time with ken instead of drawing.

the big bosses are at work this week and i really don't want to be here. i just want to do my own work. i need to clean my apartment. i need to draw more! my art is much more important that this crap! i don't need to take orders over the phone; i need to layout my own stories and ideas. i wanna work on my comics. i want to make collages. i want to get back into photography.
sorry, but my thought's aren't all that organized these days and i find myself just getting angry and frustrated more and more. expect rants about work. bleh. maybe it's hormones. *shrugs*

ken's working hard on some more pieces for his portfolio. he's never one to rest on his laurels. 8^) he'll do well, it'll just take time. i know he hates being unemployed. it doesn't matter to me though. he wasn't employed when we first started dating. i just want more time with him.
i did visit him again last night and he was sweet enough to hook up his ps2 so i could play while he worked on 3D stuff. not the most romantic evening, but sometimes it's nice to know that the person is in the room with you, even if they are doing other things.

i did find some time to play around in photoshop yesterday (techincally it's not playing, it practising my skills, but i digress. it was a nice creative release.) i decided to make some avatar icons using some stock photos i found. this site has tons of great stock photos, all free. these photos are not mine, i only borrowed them. i was making one for my bookblog, but blogger doesn't use avatars much, does it? guess you can tell that i've spent too much time reading friend's ljs. you can see them at my lj, as well as the von creepenstein device. i'll post them later this evening.

update (later that afternoon): one of the big bosses complimented my design on that sale incentive booklet i did a few weeks ago. i'm sure i blogged about it's creation and lack of time to do it right. well, while it doesn't fix everything that's wrong with working here, it does abate my anger, for the time being. 8^)

further edit (8-10-05):did i say i would post those images later that day? i meant the next day. got busy. sorry!