i'm tired and very whiny

ken's right. i'm stretched too thin.
i decided to take on some more design work for cindy at graphix back around march. i needed the design experience, because frankly, i wasn't getting here at douglas. it also filled up the lonely days until he came back home. (the weekend before last, btw.) it even looked like i could go to work for cindy full-time, but worries about insurance and all is crushing that idea. i work 7am to 4pm at douglas then go straight to graphix and work until 6 or 7 p.m. it helps, i get paid enough to help cover gas, sometimes more. (man, that stuff's expensive! i remember being angry when it rose to a $1.14 back in college. 9.9 that does it. my next car will be a hybrid. ) however, i hardly get enough free time to do anything! i go non-stop until it's time to sleep. 8^(
since ken has been back home, i usually go out to his 'rents place and visit. so i don't get to spend much time with him except for weekends.

this weekend was nice, though it started really busy! it soon got relaxing and ended all to quickly.
first, i needed some girl time with jo. she was moving back to lawrence on monday. so she, alice and i had dinner at tamolly's and visited back at my place. ken dropped by later and showed everyone what projects he had been working on for the past year. we played music, there was much sharing of the tunage on jo's mac (thanks, jo! i'm enjoying spamalot and the college accapella!) and a good time was had by all. jo helped me by designing a coat of arms for the Von Creepensteins. yay! hey alice! can you make them into patches? i'd like one.
jo crashed for the night and we chatted a bit in the morning.
but no sleeping in for me. nope, i was up early to get ready for the lake. ken and his folks were going and i didn't want to be left behind. mostly because i hadn't seen much of him this past year. it did come to may attention when i got home that that saturday marked 5 years that he and i have been dating. 8^) another good reason to spend time with him that weekend.

the lake was very relaxing and very much needed. just riding around on the pontoon with the family and the two dogs, goldie and lucky, relieved a lot of stress. boy, those dogs were having fun. they love the lake. ken and his dad fished, lucky and goldie tried to get every fish that caught and ken's mom controlled the trolling motor. saturday night they tried to do some night finishing. i'm glad ken's mom found that spare jacket, i would've froze. it was nice out that night. it had just rained, which cooled everything off. ken's dad wasn't too sure about going out with the rain, but it stopped shortly after we got on the lake. i had forgotten my backpack so all i could do was enjoy the ride (which was nice,) and watch ken fish.

sunday we got up and went to the lake again after breakfast. it was hot, but it cooled off considerably on the water. there was a nice breeze when we had the engine running. ahhh. it was grand. 8^) i didn't even get cold while the engine was running. it was perfect. there was more fishing. i sketched and just enjoyed the scenery. i just need to bring more snacks and get a DS or a PSP to take along. *sigh* weekends are too short and money is too tight.

we have got to find a way to go see doug and c this weekend.

i'm hardly getting anytime for sketching at all except on weekends, and i usually want to spend my time with ken instead of drawing.

the big bosses are at work this week and i really don't want to be here. i just want to do my own work. i need to clean my apartment. i need to draw more! my art is much more important that this crap! i don't need to take orders over the phone; i need to layout my own stories and ideas. i wanna work on my comics. i want to make collages. i want to get back into photography.
sorry, but my thought's aren't all that organized these days and i find myself just getting angry and frustrated more and more. expect rants about work. bleh. maybe it's hormones. *shrugs*

ken's working hard on some more pieces for his portfolio. he's never one to rest on his laurels. 8^) he'll do well, it'll just take time. i know he hates being unemployed. it doesn't matter to me though. he wasn't employed when we first started dating. i just want more time with him.
i did visit him again last night and he was sweet enough to hook up his ps2 so i could play while he worked on 3D stuff. not the most romantic evening, but sometimes it's nice to know that the person is in the room with you, even if they are doing other things.

i did find some time to play around in photoshop yesterday (techincally it's not playing, it practising my skills, but i digress. it was a nice creative release.) i decided to make some avatar icons using some stock photos i found. this site has tons of great stock photos, all free. these photos are not mine, i only borrowed them. i was making one for my bookblog, but blogger doesn't use avatars much, does it? guess you can tell that i've spent too much time reading friend's ljs. you can see them at my lj, as well as the von creepenstein device. i'll post them later this evening.

update (later that afternoon): one of the big bosses complimented my design on that sale incentive booklet i did a few weeks ago. i'm sure i blogged about it's creation and lack of time to do it right. well, while it doesn't fix everything that's wrong with working here, it does abate my anger, for the time being. 8^)

further edit (8-10-05):did i say i would post those images later that day? i meant the next day. got busy. sorry!