doin' the madison street shuffle

doin' the madison street shuffle
at least, that's what the line at the unemployment office used to be called before they moved their offices. *sigh* thank you, jo. i don't think i'll ever forget that phrase. i think you taught it to me back in college, during a conversation on local slang terms and phrases.

it's a joyous day, an awkward day.
yesterday i was speaking with my supervisor via phone. i informed her that i was passing on the offer to relocate to conway. so, today is my last day here. not quite what i pictured, but oh well. it's much better than a worse case scenario. my severance pay will be doubled since i stayed until they no longer needed me. that's good news.
i'm glad i was working on my resume these past 2 days. i just need to tweak a few things and i'll have five in the mail before i go to bed tonight. both ken and carter spotted a help wanted ad for a graphic designer, so wish me luck. i have no idea what i'm going to do or where i'll go but at least i'm happy that i won't be with this company any more.
also, i'm glad i cleaned out my office last thursday. saves time today.

tracy recommended that i go by unemployment tomorrow so i can get started on what needs to be done, even though the company won't have any of my paperwork or severance check ready until the 30th. 8^P  i am thankful i'm getting a regular paycheck tomorrow.

right now, i'm backing up all the design files & projects i have accumulated here. i thought the company might want copies of them. all the tobacco store ads, all the office forms, the business cards, etc.

lots of storms going through our area today. sometimes, bits of sunlight peek out of the clouds to the ground below, then heavy rain. appropriate, since my feelings are equally mixed.  yup, i'm feeling partly cloudy with a hint of thunderstorms. yourself? 6^)P

no, i'm not depressive about this. i'm just here, not quite sure what i'm feeling. i'm more anxious about the future than anything else. i hate not knowing what will happen next. perhaps the Big Guy Upstairs is trying to teach me a lesson about trust. i'd love to just draw all day. anyone want to be my patron so i can do this? i know  michelangelo and da vinci both have patrons. i could use someone to bankroll my art so i wouldn't have to worry about it any longer. *sigh* ok, enough daydreaming.


con report- wizard world texas '05
(work in progress here!)

Alice and i got off to a late start. opps! but we were on the road by noon or so. the drive was pretty uneventful except of one driver once we were in texas. a little red car that would not stay in their lane. alice calls the cops on them, but eventually they exited off the interstate. also on my way down i learn that jacksonsport state park recieved my resume and would like me to fill out an application. cool. mail or internet they ask? internet, since i'm on the road. we listen to The Wee Free Men by Terry Pratchett on the way down.
basically, we got to the hotel and proceeded to crash. alice had made some cute Ferdinand shrinky-dinks and i beaded one as a dangle for my backpack. i'll post an of it image later.

Friday: first day of the con. we get up early to get to the convention center by 8. alice has done this before so i follow her lead. we meet the other volunteers, such as James, Dan, Faythe, Jonathan, etc. and Steve Latour of Wizard, the volunteer wrangler. volunteer of the con goes to bryan, a spunky 10 year old who knows what's going on. very helpful, real polite and smart as a whip. this kid will go places. trust me.
we sign in, get our badges and shirts (icky. blaze orange. very good for deer hunting.) we take the morning shift. friday's crowd was small. the front doors are not all unlocked so alice opens doors for folks while i am among the volunteers steering them to the hall to line up after the con goers have checked in.

after awhile when things slow down, we go walk to con floor. first i walked around solo. i look for Antartic Press's booth, but just like Wizard World Chicago '03, they don't show. the turkeys! i wanted to show them the blue canary pages i've drawn so far. 8^( *pouts*
i walk around some more. what the? i did a double take! blank label has a booth here? and there's Steve Troop. cool! if i had known i would have brought my copy of ultimate melonpool vol. 1. i chat with steve (nice guy, btw! if you ever get a chance, go say hi to him at a con. and let him show you the melonpool puppets!) he only had the mayberry puppet with him today, but is working on new ones. they should be spiffy. i got a sketch from him (another to hang on my "studio" wall.)

i go back to hang out with the volunteers and start to talk with Steve Latour.
"Need any designers?" steve directs me to Mel, an editor with Wizard who graciously looks over my design portfolio. he says if i was willing to relocate to NY state to eamil him and he could set up a portfolio review with the design dept. yay! 8^) i was so excited.

next, alice and i go to the beckett comics booth to see David Mack.
alice had met him before at an art show of his. she had made some quilts featuring his art from the daredevil comic, "Wake Up." he loved it.
i got him to sign my copies of Kabuki: Circle of Blood and Kabuki: Dreams. Alice was borrow vol 3, Masks of the Noh, so it didn't get signed, but i did pick up copies of Vol 4, Skin Deep and Vol. 5 Metamorphasis.
vol. 5 was in hardcover only, but he gave me a good deal! i also picked up 2 of his art prints from Kabuki. one was the cover for Kabuki: The Alchemy #5. he even game alice and i kabuki patches for free and game me a free signed copy of the kabuki gallery. a genuinely nice guy. he even drew me a quick sketch.
about this time, 2 chicks holding big nets and dressed in camo come by with some fake speech about looking for their "lost crocodile." it's all ploy for some energy gum. we all try it and soon regret it! it's nasty. these girls became the bane of the con.

then we went to artist's alley and met the guys from stumblebum studios: 3 artists and an editor. one of the artists, dave, is drawing a webcomic. i'll post links to the strips i saw on the table. another artist at the booth, Kevin Steele is selling marker sketches and they're cute! one is of spiderham! alice has to get it and a few others and commissions a daredevil for $5. not a bad price! i get him to draw Odile and Amelia. i'll post a link to that soon.
next to them is the "Feeping Creatures" booth. i never got the guys name, but he makes little cute "creatures" out of sculpey. very nice work, too. Alice got one that resembled her cats, a red tabby.

Then we go sit in on the last half of the Terry Moore Q&A. the sketch at stumblebum's booth ate up the first half, but oh well. Terry is very funny! Alice had never heard of him or of Strangers in Paradise. i even got the courage to ask about how he developed new characters.
i met Terry back in 2003 with Ken at Wizard World Chicago. here's another guy you need to meet, nice and funny! i love SiP. i even got to see some of the original pages! back in '03 Ken and i both got sketches and Ken bought copies of the Paradise, Too trades. my sketch was a profile of Francine from SiP and Ken's was Lizzie from Paradise, Too. i still need to frame them.
this time, the line for sketches was too long. i got the first SiP pocket trade (since i don't have all the issues. the old comic shop in jonesboro was bad about not ordering every issue in a series,) and Alice picked up a copy, too. i think she will like SiP. she enjoyed the Q&A. Terry graciously interrupted a sketch to sign them.

the rest of the con, we hang out and walk around. Alice passes out lots of business cards for her superheros quilts. then the day is over, we go eat and then head back to the hotel. Alice had been meaning to make David Mack one of her nifty braile shirts for awhile now and this is the perfect time! she also makes one for his girlfriend, Mandy. she also makes a new one for me.
i had wore my braille shirt that read "If you can read this, you're too close," as free advertising for alice. i thought wearing another one wouldn't hurt. the new one is black with black pearl dots. it reads "Stop Staring." for dinner we went to On the Border. alice decides to get a Margarita so i drive back to the hotel. it was my first time driving in a big city. we stop at a wally world to get a wireless modem for alice's laptop. i need to fill out that application for Jacksonport State Park, but it's gone from the website, so i download a pdf of it and decided to take it to kinkos in the morning.

Saturday: Again, up early to be there by 8. we drop by kinkos and i print out the application. i start to fill it out, but i don't have a copy of my resume with me. uh-oh! that means i don't have the addresses of my references or the exact dates on my work history. yikes! i call mom to email the files i need. we head to the con. Lots more folks this time, but alice says the crowd isn't anything compared to last year's. alice is back opening doors. one of the special guests is ron perlman (hellboy,) and he say's hello to her as he walks in. 8^)

i'm at the cash ticket table i guess you could call it. Bryan, kid volunteer extrodinare, is assiting me. some folks wait until the day of to get their tickets and i'm making sure they fill out the survey form, otherwise they won't get a ticket. for the most part people are polite, even if they think the questions are too personal. i tell them that if they don't want us to send email, then don't list their email addy. if you don't like the question or don't know the answer, just mark stuff down. anything to make people happy, even if the wizard marketing team won't be after going over the forms.

again alice and i walk the floor. David is late in arriving, but alice says that he's more of a night owl. Alice missed getting a blue minimate the day before, but she's bound and determined to get one now. they are given away free at noon. we stand in line and get one each. the object is to try to get a rare silver spider-man minimate, but we're happy with the little blue ones. I bug Steve again at the blank label booth and introduce him to alice. they make a deal: he exchanges copies of TUM Vol. 1-3 & 5 (four is out of stock except at lulu,) and she will embroider his chracters on a jacket for him. i go ahead and get copies of TUM 2, 3 & 5. 8^) Steve! makes usre you don't forget to send a jacket to alice!

We visit artist's alley again. and who do i spot? it's Ben Dunn, creator of Ninja High School! someone from Antartic showed up after all! oh, happy me. so, i ask him to look over my blue canary pages. he said i had a good storytelling ability. *jumps for joy on the inside* i also get a sketch ($10 but it's a good one!) another to add to my studio wall. we taking a break at the tables near the gaming area. i get out my art stuff and work on blue canary page 14. it felt great in there, all the presence of creative types. alice goes off to get a couple of Andy Lee sketches. just beautiful! they'll look great on her wall at home.

we walk around some more. i renew my CBLDF membership. it's been expired for over a year, (i've been poor.) we also get word of a artists get-together in town at j.gilligan's. the guys from blank label are going and alice and i decide to go, too.
David & Mandy finally show and alice presents them with their new shirts. They went over well, i must say! David's says "Man Without Fear" in braille, while Mandy's reads "Hands Off!"
after that i thought it time to look for free stuff! the wizards of the coast booth had folks in line to roll a hugh D-20 for prizes. to get bonuses on your roll you had to set through or participate in demos for their games. alice and i tried one, but that type of card game is not for me. give me chez geek anyday. we ended up deciding against rolling but fellow volunteer larry had some extras from that booth that he was willing to part with, a hat that alice claimed and i got a paperback copy of R.A. Salvatore's Servant of the Shard for ken. he likes salavtore's stuff and likes his work in the Forgotten Realms D& D.

Sean Astin was signing that day, but you needed a ticket for that and those were gone quick. he also had a Q&A, but i missed it. Margo Kidder was also there, signing in Artist's Alley. Summer Glau of "Serenity" and Ron Perlman were signing on the main floor.

there were lots more folks in costumes, but not nearly as much as some cons. i saw 2 batmans, a supergirl and i think the gentleman with her was dressed as someone out of Firefly. some stormtroppers showed up as well as someone in an armor suit from Halo. (nicely done, too.) also some kids showed, a little ninja, a mini superman and batman. the cutest of all, IMHO was the pint-sized riddler. alice has photo and i will post a link to that.

back at the hotel i check my email. it's the wrong file, but mom is trying. i get some info off of it but it's not enough to send the application in yet. i ask her to try again for tomorrow. besides, it's saturday and park offices are likely not open, even is the rest of the park is.
the artist get together was awesome. loud music, mostly hip-hop but i could take it in in this atmosphere. we met steve and proceed to have a great time. steve introduces me to a scwiggle game: each person takes turns, one puts down and random scribble and passes it to another who uses the scribble in a drawing. we all had a blast. my best on was turning a scribble into Krazy Kat. steve's IMO was turning one into fred flintstone. meanwhile, the guys at fanboy radio were posting paper and matte board on the wall. Jim Mahfood of "Grrrl Scouts" and Dave Crossland (both with awesome graffiti art drawing styles,) started the show with sketches. what one would start, the othter would finish. Andy Lee shows up and proceeds to add his work with brushes to the mix. Then David Mack arrives! 4 great artists working in front of an audience-it became a performance. Alice is snapping photos with her digital when she gets an idea. i look up from the scribble game to see her getting paint handprints from the artists! Mahfood even tags her with spray paint! LOL go Alice! i snap some photos of it for her. 8^D we had a great time!
i plan on posting the scwiggle game sketches to my sketchblog sometime with weekend.

Sunday: we don't have to be there until 9. we can sleep in an hour. i wake up early though and try to work on the application. no dice. mom sent the wrong files again. i guess it's my fault, i think i steered her to the wrong place on my computer. *shrugs* i'll try wheni get home.
we go to the con and alice is manning the doors again and i'm handing out the ticket surveys, this time with Al. the staff hand us magazines to give out.
one guys says "we have to fill this out to get a ticket?!" his face contorts with rage as he crumples the survey into a ball and throws it at Al. he then proceeds to stomp out, turning around to flip us off. alice hears him mumble, "bitch!" under his breath as he leaves. later we tell the wizard staff, but what can you do. i'm just glad the jerk left.

we do our shift and this time i stick around to help some more. i hang out in the volunteer room and sketch a bit for Dan and James. i also go with alice to get another blue minimate. 8^) Alice commissions another daredevil sketch from Kevin at Stumblebum. i get a little purple feeping creature, too cute! i look around the floor show some more, looking for a deal. i find a copy of Blue Monday vol. 4, Painted Moon! i've been looking for this! cool!
lots of vendors are giving good prices to help sell the stuff and have less to carry home.
we get our goodie bags and there begins a search. alice and i want indy heroclix. no, we don't play, but they are cool little things. we're looking for any character from Kabuki. i discover that some are of Scarab. so we look around and finally find some. 8^) i give her my copy of the exclusive comic, since i don't really read that series. i think she'll ebay it.
we go eat after the con and rest up for the drive home the next day.

Monday: we head out at check-out time, 11a.m.
now, our plan was to head to frisco, tx before we head home. why? Ikea. 8^) we had a good time, lots of cool things in there. we ate at the store, good food btw. alice picked up some nifty chairs and i snagged a dresser that i had been wanting. we had to reorganize the car. it was about 3 when we were finally on the road! we got into jonesboro around 11:30 p.m. i helped unpack alice's car and then i was on my way home.

and that was the con! it was great and i'd like to do it again next year. maybe ken can come with next time. (he was too poor this time around.)

and that's the con folks! there are photos of the volunteers at the volunteer blog! check it out!
jo emailed this to me. i decided to fill it out here. feel free to gank it if you wish.

1. What color are your kitchen plates? blue.
2. What book are you reading now? see my bookblog.
3. What's on your mouse pad? no mousepad-i've gotta optical mouse.
4. What's your favorite board game? clue.
5. What's your favorite magazine? national geographic.
6. Favorite smell? cookies fresh from the oven
7. Least favorite smell? skunk.
8. What is the first thing you think of when you wake up in the morning? "ug. not yet...*mumbles*" then i hit snooze and go back to sleep.
9. What is your favorite color? tricky. hmmm. when i was little it was either sky blue or midnight blue. after getting an art degree, i've discovered other colors, so it's hard to choose just one! my color of the moment is a deep, dark warm red.
10. How many rings before you answer the phone? depends on where i am and where the phone is.
11. Future child's name? if i ever have a girl, she will be named Hollen Elizabeth after my grandfather's sister, who died in the big spanish flu epidemic back around 1918-1919 at age nine.
12. What's most important in life? Happiness is good, but i'm still trying to figure it out.
13. Chocolate or vanilla? both!
14. Do you like to drive fast? depends on what's on the radio. 8^)P
15. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal? no.
16. Storms-cool or scary? both! (again.) i've seen too many tornadoes, but lightening is just so cool. example, when i graduated high school, my aunt and uncle game mom, carter and myself a trip to disney world. on the flight back home, we passed above a thunderstorm. my brother and i were entraced. we had never seen lightning at that angle. it was nifty.
17. If you could meet one person alive or dead who would it be? um...alive, please. the dead one's are a little uncooperative... i would like to meet Terry Prachett.
18. Favorite alcoholic drink? woodchucker hard cider, raspberry flavor. yummy.
19. What is your sign and birthday? stop. LOL seriously, it's gemini. June 3.
20. Do you eat the stems of broccoli? eewww! broccoli! yuk.
21. If you could have any job what would it be? i would like to draw comics all day.
22. If you could have any hair color what would it be? what i have now, but maybe a streak of a wild color or something.
23. Is the glass half full or half empty? i don't care, just as long as i have something to drink. 6^)P
24. Favorite movie? toss up between "The Princess Bride," "Monty Python & the Holy Grail" and "
25. How mandy fingers do you type with? nine, if you count my right thumb keying the space bar.
26. What's under you bed? two plastic tote thingies full of art supplies.
27. Favorite sport to watch? no thank you.
30. What's you single biggest fear? i have three that weigh in pretty equally: indecision, uncertainty & making mistakes.
31. Say one thing nice about the person you sent this to you. Jo is like a sister to me, she's great to hang out with.
32. Person mostly likely to respond? didn't send it to anyone.
33. Person you sent this to who is least likely to respond? see previous response.
34. Favorite cd? right now, it's Sigur Ros - Takk...
35. Favorite TV show? it's been so long since i've watched TV on a regular basis. fav channels are Cartoon Network, TLC, Discovery & the History Channel.
36. Ketchup or mustard? depends. on a burger, both. on a hot dog, mustard only.
37. Hamburgers or hot dogs? Burgers! unless ken cooks the hot dogs in the smoker.
38. Favorite soft drink? i don't drink soda anymore. it's H2O for me.
39. The best places you have ever been: Florence, Italy for art, Chicago for pizza. i can't think of any others right now.
40. What screen saver is on your computer now? none. my screen just goes blank.
41. Burger King or McDonald's? burger king.
42. Favorite frozen dessert? ben and jerry's ice cream "cherry garcia" flavor.
43. Favorite season? it used to be spring, but now i've developing a love of autumn.
44. Favorite animal? cats. (but i like dogs, too!)
45. Favorite character? in what? movies? anime? books?
46. Favorite actor? can't think of one right now.
47. Favorite saying? "it's spiffy!"


off to see the wizard...
alice and i are leaving today on our way to wizard world texas. we're so excited! i'll post more about the trip later. now, to finish packing and get cleaned up. 8^)


and now i'm home again
they told me this afternoon that i could go home.
the company is hosting a meeting of non-competeing distributors next week. i need to design name badges, a program flyer, etc. they been needing to get with me on this stuff for 2 months now. and now the day before i go to vaction, i.e. tomorrow, i have to get all this stuff done. steve is supposed to me with me and go over what is needed at jonesboro where there will apparently be less distractions.
at least i am home. my own bed! how i have missed you! *squeezes pillow*

back in conway
i arrived monday. what a day. still, it could've been worse. it just seems bad since i was so stressed. wake up and get ready to leave at 6am. get to conway at 8:30. nothing for me in the office so i'm out in the warehouse putting returned saleable goods back into inventory, scrapping labels off of racks (at least i'm not using a razor blade and lighter fluid this time! they found something that works real well,) and they washing the racks down with soapy rags. ug. those things were nasty!

my energy was just sapped. when i got off work, i went to the local target to bum around even though i was tired. guess what i found? two things...first, ginger altoids. i had heard of them but had not seen them in the area. highly yummy and spicy. i may go back to get another tin. secondly, i saw a sigur ros cd! i had no idea that they had release their work in the states. i had only known about them through jo, who got hooked on it while in germany. so i got it. too bad i didn't bring my cd player but i can at least listen to it in the car.
so far, it's very atmospheric and relaxing. which i needed. why?

ok the target is near a chili's, so i pop in to get some take out. while leaving i back my car into someone else's. there was no damage to mine or to theirs, a sporty black nissan, but i decided to at least tell them. i went back inside and had the "owners of a black nissan" paged. they tried twice, no response. the hostess started to ask customer table by table if they owned the car. she got one half of the place done before she got slammed by a wave of people wanting seats. at her suggestion, i left a note on their winshield:
"i accidently backed into your car! i'm so sorry! i didn't see any damage, but if you need any info on insurance please call." and listed my name and number.
so far, they have not called.
*shrugs* it maybe nothing, but we'll see.

after that i go to the hotel to check-in and veg. well, they forgot to call in the reservation! luckily the company has an account and i was able to get a room with no hassle.
i ate, called dad, then mom, then ken.

carter got a job! yay! no more of this place for him. he starts today and i hope he likes it.

ken's granny is in the hospital. they don't know if it's another stoke or not. we'll see. he wasn't there when i called but later in the evening he caught up with me. i miss him.
ok back to work. i did some filing and stuff up front but now i'm back in the warehouse putting metal holders for rollers on flow racks. what fun. 8^(P yeah, right. 9.9


a week in conway
i worked last sunday, helping them whereever needed and then monday i was off to conway to help there. i hated it.

don't get me wrong, conway's a nice town, but i really don't want to be there working for this company. the first two days were boring. i was sure people were tire do fme asking if they had anything for me to do. linda really wanted me out in the warehouse doing who knows what. i did end up there a few times this week helping to set up a type of flow rack-i was just setting thingies that the rollers would rest on.
wednesday was pleasantly busy-anything to keep me occupied and make the time go by faster.
with the exception of a few, most of the people who work there are fakes. especially the higher up you go.

good things did happen. jeremy from texarkana was there that first day and he and i had lunch togther. we found a wonderful hole in the wall chinese joint with great spicy food and good fried rice. it had a black pepper flavor i adored.
oh! i don't have to put up with kevin and alan anymore! woo hoo!
tim at work explained to me how it now made sense that those two bozos kept their jobs for so long. why bring in someone else for a few months when all they had to do was bide their time.

i'm home now. got in last night, but they want me back up there on monday. ick.
i stay until wednesday. i got some time off on the 3rd, 4th and 7th and i'm hitting the road with alice to go to wizard world texas. i volunteered to work at the show, so i get in free. 8^D
pray that they don't try to jerk my vacation out from under me. i won't put it past them.

ok, i found me resume on the computer this morning. i'll be tweaking it this weekend. wish me luck. c made me a list of places to send my resume out to and i need to get crackin' on that list.
man, i'm glad to be home.


changes or when it rains, it pours.
scattered thoughts here-expect poor grammar, rambling sentences, redundancy and general panic.

not, it's not raingin here, althought they thought i might.
ug. had a mess up with my checking account again. i must be worse at math than i thought. i keep getting overdrafts every few months. yuck.

just when i think i had it sorted and could relax, today i had a little meeting with the big bosses at work. the jonesboro division is closed as of tomorrow.
oh, i still have a job. i'll be needed to help shut this one down completely over the next few months and i've been offered to relocate to the conway division...

but i'm scared.
that is the emotion, i'm feeling isn't it? i just realized. i couldn't figure out what it was, except for indecision and apprehension. oh, and panic, too.
it's not the way i planned.
see, i thought ken would get a job, be there a few months, then i could move out there and work on either getting a new job or going back to school.
this complicates things.

i'm thinking of the marx bros. quote: "why have things simple, when you can have them complicated?"

it seems to be the story of my life.
hmmm. options:
go back to school(need money for this)
move to KC/Lawerence and see if i can find work there. (could use some money for this too while i hunt for work. i could bunk with jo until she got tired of me...)
try to find something here and risk not being able to make rent/car payment, etc.
take them up on the offer (which i'd rather not do unless i have to,)
something i haven't thought of yet.

oy. i need to talk to ken. 8^(
i've already talked to mom, but i need ideas. mom can only give comfort, which is important, but i need ideas, too.

i always wanted to leave this place over the past year, but not like this. *sigh*

my portfolio hasn't been updated since i got this job. i don't think i have much here that would qualify as being good enough to add to my portfolio. i need to update my resume! i hate job hunting. Acck!

ok, i need to calm down and just try to find the direction i need to go in. prayers are helpful.


it's a common sight to see in an area where gravel roads are common; cars & trucks covered with the dust of the road. it's prime space for temporary graffiti. things like, "teri loves mike," smilie faces and of course the ever popular critical request, "wash me!"

it's refreshing however to see something new inscribed in the dirt. today on my way to take the deposit to the bank for work i noticed tracy's car...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

her son had scribbled hot rod flames in the dust. too cute! i appologize if the photo isn't very clear.


what i did since my last post & assorted ramblings
it finally feels like autumn. i can understand with the chill briskness in the wind why fall air is called "brisk."
this weekend i was at the lake once again with ken and his folks. a wee bit chilly it was. i must remember to bring a sweater next time instead of just a fleece pullover.
the leaves around lake norfork were just starting to turn. it's going to be absolutly beautiful up there in a week or so. that alone is worth a little cold. i'm going to have to scape some $$ together in my budget to get some new sweaters and a pullover hoodie.

work is about the same. i come to work and quickly get in a angry mood. it disapates by the time everyone else shows up at 8. somedays however, i go home just as angry. it's like high school all over again; it's all about who you know and ego trips. ug. 9.9
i'm sick of it, but i'm waiting on ken before i make a move to flee from here.
i like working over at graphix, but i've already put in a full day at my other job, so often i wish i didn't have to go in, but i do. i need the money. rent, gas, bills...it all adds up. according to my budget i should have some extra spending money here and there, but i just don't see it. i must really suck at managing funds.

drawing continues on the first chapter of the restart of blue canary, but it has slowed quite a bit. pencils for page 12 is finished and i hope to start on page 13. i need to start thumbnailing out chapter 2 and finish writing chapter 3. still undecided on whether to ink the pages or to digital color over them.

jo came and visited the weekend before last, she had her high school class reunion. doug and c also moved to a new home so between helping them and hanging with jo, i was swamped. it was good to see both though.
jo and i went and harassed alice for a bit. 6^) i need to go bug her again soon. the only thing wrong with that weekend was that it was too short.

doug and c's new place is nice! brick exterior, hardwood floors and a charming retro kitchen. it looks like 40s-50s vintage at least. it's one of the house for rent on the ASU campus for faculty/staff and since doug works full-time an the convo, they were able to snag it. it's cheaper than their old place and much closer to work for doug, so they save on gas.

jo has had some excited this past week when a building in her apartment complex caught fire. luckily, jo and her kitty, annie, are alright. their building escaped the flames, but others are homeless and 3 have died.
jo, have you been back by there since? any status on your place? water damage, etc?
*hugs jo* i'm glad you are alright.

ken is working more on his portfolio but has returned to work on the project for jodain (is that how his name is spelt?)
his portfolio has been revamped to include a little animated sketch between an odd couple of robots. no, it's not 3po and r2. 9.9
it should be cute!

speaking of animations, ken and i saw "Wallace & Gromit: curse of the were-rabbit" before heading to the lake on friday. it was great. i like british humour. i would gush on it further, but i don't want to ruin the jokes for anyone. 8^)

i splurged a little yesterday and went by bath junkie and got some shower gel in one of my "scents," a combo of chamomile tea, cinnamon and dirt essential oils. (the dirt smells like a mossy earth. it's quite nice actually.) i wanted something ecletic that not everyone else would have. 8^)
and why did i suddently get some expensive bath stuff knowing full well how tight my budget is? well, ever since hillarygayle mentioned BPAL in one of her posts, i've been craving smell-good shtuff. funny, how when my sinuses get too sensitive to that sort of thing is when i want to wear it and i have headaches all day long as a result. anyhoo, i figure shower gel wouldn't be as strong as perfume oil and i didn't want to have to wait for BPAL. i'll do that at a later date.
the lady there also gave me a sample bottle of their calendula lotion, mentioning that people with my skin condition usually do well with it. i admit that the lotion does feel real nice. i may have to get more, but on another day, budget permitting.

finally, the new mall in town has opened 2 stores. everyone here is abuzz about it. i still haven't ventured inside yet, only beause it's crowded and i don't think i'll have much money to spend.
the rest of the mall should open in march.

it's cloudy today and i think it might rain. could be wrong though. i have to work til 5pm here today. 8^(P yuck. at least i brough my lunch and i won't have to go out in it if it does start to drizzle. i'm looking forward to my lunch, actually: bologna on wheat with mayo, pretzels and a braeburn apple as big as my fist.
nummy. 8^)

enough ramble. back to work. 8^(P


last day of summer
the weather should start getting cooler. time to get my jackets and coat cleaned and drag out my sweaters and corderoys.

it's funny, just as you get tired of the weather, the seasons change. i'm tired of the cold when spring comes and ready for the cooler climes as summer comes to a close. i think i would get bored living in an area where it's always hot or always cold.
the cooler temps will make ken happy. the man must have been a polar bear in a previous life. either that or it's his danish heritage on his mom's side. he loves winter.

right now, you'd hardly know that summer was ending, it's that hot out. it's like the season is trying to get every last bit of heat in before the season changes.

i've been busy. mostly at work or visting ken. weekends are mostly spent out on lake norfork with ken and his folks, before it gets too cold. they will still go out in the fall for the retriever, goldie. she like to go fishing as much as the lab, lucky, but she's so sensitive to the heat. this will let her enjoy the fun, too. i don't fish, but i find plenty to do: read, play my game boy and draw.

speaking of drawing, i'm currently penciling page 11 of blue canary. i found a routine that is working. instead of bringing a book to work to pass the time on my lunch break, i draw. when i visit ken and he's working on his 3D portfolio, i draw.
the speed at which i complete pages has slowed, but i'm still plugging along. i believe i messed up my stride when mom got sick earlier this month. i have all of chapter one's layout in thumbnail sketches. chapter 2 is completely scripted and i'm working on scripting chapter 3.

poor mom. 8^( she has some swallowing problems. sometimes things she eats get "hung up" in her throat. they never block her airway or anything, but it's uncomfortable. well this time it was a doozy! it blocked and mom couldn't shake it loose by walking. she hadn't eaten or had anything to drink for 2 days when she called me from the e.r. to ask if i could bring her a blanket. the hospital ones were too thin and she was cold.
i could tell she was upset. this one scared her i think, or at least it scared me! they couldn't find a blockage either. they put in an i.v. to hydrate her at least. they released her and she saw her regular doctor the next day. the verdict? the doc thought it was bad acid reflux but wanted a scope to be sure. that was scheduled for the next day, much to mom's frustration. she didn't want to wait.
the doc gave mom some new acid reflux meds that dissolve on the tongue and sent her home. the stuff helped! mom was able to get some water down finally.
the procedure went well the next day. they dialated her esophagus and spotted a small hernia near her stomach. 8^( otherwise, she was fine.

she crashed at my place the entire time. i was glad to help. it felt like it was time to start paying mom back for all the e.r. visits and doctor's appointments she been through with me.
i also carted her to the doctor and to the hospital. i missed some work to be with her, but tracy said i could use sick time to cover it. 8^) she's a sensible one, that tracy at work. that's why i like her.
mom is home now, taking it easy. she is back at work, but went on a soft food diet for a week or so, just in case. in fact, mom was getting desperate for food, but kept her sense of humor about it. she kidded the doctor about wanting to drink ensure.
"you know you're sick if you want to drink that stuff," joked mom.
the doctor laughed and agreed.
so, when she was done with the scope, i went to get some popsicles for her throat and then to sam's to pick up a case of the nasty-tasting ensure, at her request.
mom later felt up to driving home. i followed her, just in case. you're not supposed to drive after one of those scopes. mom did wait until evening, but i was shocked she wanted to try it. i thought she would have stayed another night.
on my way back home, mom called on my cell. she was shocked because the ensure tasted like slim fast, which was an improvement.

let me see if i can remember what else has happened since my last post:
  • i have a new battery for my car. the dealership wanted $130 to $150 for a new one one. 0.o um...no! dad got one for $75 and replaced it himself. it's nice to have a mechanic for a dad.
  • after that, the a/c on my car would only blow hot air. i finially scheduled some time to take it to the dealership. the problem? my compressor is kaput. luckily, that part, unlike my lately departed battery, is under warranty. woo hoo! the part is on order and they should be able to install it next week. of course by then, the weather will have cooled down. *sigh* i guess you could say my a/c is 2w55 for the moment. 8^)P
  • i'm playing golden sun on my game boy when i'm at the lake. i'm currently at suhalla dessert in the game. i try not to play it too much at home because i have drawing to do. i also got copies of the legend of zelda: link's awakening dx and tetris worlds to have something else to play when on the lake. i like game stores that sell used games. it makes me happy. 8^) i will admit that i have gotten stuck in golden sun and have turned to an online walkthrough. *hides* i feel so ashamed! believe it or not. i used to be a nintendo freak in... well, you would call it jr. high. our high school was 7th through 12th grades. anyhow, i loved video games, even though i couldn't afford many game cartridges and wasn't very good playing them. they still have the ability to take over all my free time, so if i want to get any progress made on blue canary, i try to limit it to lake play only.
  • dad and carter made steaks last saturday 8^) yummy! dad got a sweet potato to go with mine and i have never seen one this large. "and this was the small one," dad told me. o.0 yikes.
  • i visited with caroline some last sunday. it was good to see her again, it's been too long! maybe she and i can get some girl time in this weekend.
  • i saw another luna moth at ken's parents house monday night. it was fluttering in a oak tree in the backyard.
  • i've been downloading and listening to the gigcast. 8^) hey, jo's in it! cool. i'm enjoying it.
  • ken's making changes on the opening title sequence for jodain.
  • i've had a muscle twitch on my right eyelid since monday that's buggin' the fire outta me! *grumbles* at least it's not as bad as it was on monday.
  • still drawing blue canary. anyone know a good colorist who willing to work for free? i'll give them full credit for their work and portfolio rights! (they have permission to use those pages in their coloring portfolio as long as they don't try to claim my drawings as their's.) or what about someone who good with digital manga tones? same deal applies.
  • at work it looks like i'll be becoming the assistant A/R girl who just happens to be able to design things. 9.9 oy. this is frustrating me!
  • it's payday! too bad most of it is going to be spent on october's rent and a college loan payment. 8^( i hate being poor.
  • after a couple of month abstinence, i've resumed reading books for fun. see my book blog for details on what. these can take a good chunk of my time too, just like video games which is why i haven't been reading much lately.
ok, kit out.


the past weekend, in review
ken and his folks were going to norfork but rain on saturday prevented that. i got to spend time with him after all. 8^)

saturday consisted of visiting with ken, of course, and going to see "the brothers grimm" with c. doug and c invited us over for dinner afterwards. it was good. we hung out at a coffee shop later. i managed to finished the pencils for page 7 of blue canary at c's house.

sunday, ken met me at my place bright and early. dad had invited us to go with him and my brother, carter, for a riverboat ride in tunica. the reason we left early is that dad and carter were looking forward to a breakfast buffett at one of the casinos. and inch to two inch thick waffles and made to omelets were some of the yummies described to me.
we can't all fit in dad's truck so ken and i were in my car. carter drove since he knew the way. dad had given carter his card so we oculd fill up in trumann. we stopped, got gas...and the engine would not stop. dad had gone on ahead but through the magic of cell phones he came back and boosted my car off. carter, ken and i took my car back to jonesboro and then piled into ken's blazer. dad was still waiting for us in trumann. dad then topped ken's gas tank off and down to tunica we went.
the boat ride was nice. we had to get our photos made first. i hate photos like these. sure, they need something to i.d. the bodies with if, God forbid, anything happen, but mostly it's a tourist ploy. 8^( ick.
the deli lunch aboard was ok, too. i didn't quite care for the texture of my bread, but the meats were good and the dessert cookie, almost as wide as my hand with all fingers spread out, was very good! homemade oatmeal raisin with pecans. delectible. the ride was calming.
entertainment was in the form of a short haired lady strumming either a banjo or a mississippi resonator. she sang a few songs i liked, but i was more interested in her playing the instruments than her singing. she was very skilled at the banjo.
after the ride, we checked out the riverport mueseum. i love museums. 8^) then dad drove on home. carter stuck with ken and myself and we took a quick drive down the street to the outlet mall. mostly to visit the chocolate shop with peanut butter cups the size of cupcakes. the dark chocolate ones are my fav.
then we headed home and took another look at my car.

dad came by my place and i could tell he was tired. it was either my battery had a short or my alternator was growing weak. dad & carter went home while ken tried to get the battery off so it could be tested for a short. no luck. he couldn't get a socket to the bottom bolt where it was attached to the engine block. about the time, my aunt had walked by. she lived in the same complex and gets exercise by walking laps around the parking lot. she has a car by the same manufacturer and reminded me of my roadside assistance plan. ken and i both decided that would be easier since my car is still under warranty and i placed the call. he dropped me by alice's for a visit and headed home.

i had a good, if way too short, visit with alice. we talked, showed each other nifty creative stuff we had been working on. i gave her an almost slightly belated birthday present (2 packages of red beads and a hobby lobby gift card) and helped her fold patterns. i always enjoy time hanging out with her. she's fun. i hope the birthday present will be useful for her. 8^)

right now, it's raining. hard. we're getting katrina's leftovers. i feel so bad for the people who suffered through her worst that it makes my morning rant look childish. good side, this drought stricken area is finally getting all the rain it missed this summer. bad side, is there will be some flash flooding.

my car is at the dealership. maybe they'll have it fixed by this afternoon. tracy wants me to come in 8-5 on wedenesday and then 8-5 on tuesdays after that. 9.9
i really need to get out of here and get a new job.
rant alert!
every morning that i come to work at this job, i get angry. mostly at the inane company i work for, but other factors maybe involved. frustration, etc.
the company treats their employees like dirt because they can. they know most of the them have families to support and can't just leave to find better work. ggggrrrrrr!

since brenda has left, it looks like it will be just me and tracy doing office stuff now. 9.9 i only hope it is temporary, but knowing how the boss lady likes to keep the overhead low, it won't be.

like i stated in earlier posts, i did not get a degree to answer phones, take orders over the phone or confirm them or do filing. i did not get a degree to do secretarial work. i'm a designer in name only here.

i'm not trying to be an intelllectual snob, but i did that sort of work while i was earning my degree. i realize i have to start from the bottom, but the bottom doesn't include this.

if the compnay really doesn't need me, why don't they just tell me instead of just shifting me around? grow a backbone people, or least get some professional courtesy, a forgien concept it maybe to you, and tell me up front! either say you don't need a designer or that you want me to work in another position. don't just go behind my back. treat people with some compassion instead of just jerking us around.
not that you'll listen. you've done it before to others and eventually you'll do it to me, if i stick around long enough. don't think that just because i used to be all happy and gullible, that i'm still that why. like the song says, "was blind, but now i see."

ggrrrrr. can't wait to leave this place. i think i'll try to brush up my portfolio and apply elsewhere even if i have to take a cut in pay, not that you guys are paying me what i'm worth in the first place. >8^(

i know i'll get over it. i'm just blowing off some steam. i also know that everything is temporary, including this job and that brings me hope, the type i can't second guess with sarcasmism or cynicism.

to acerbate my temper, yesterday my car went on the fritz. dad drove me to work.
now, i need to explain a few things before i continue my story. i have a red plastic case i use for my art stuff. 11x17 paper will fit in it, but 14x17 bristol board will not, so i use the clip on the outside to secure it to the board.
it was raining this morning. i flip the board over so it won't get wet. i get inthe building, clock in, open my office and set my art board down. that's when i notice that my comic originals for page 6 & 7 are missing. i rush back out into the rain to find them laying in the parking lot. luckily bristol is thicker than regular paper so it wasn't completely soaked, but it did get wet. 8^(
wwwaaaahhhh! i know it can prolly be fixed or worked around, but this just upsets me. at least it's still in pencil stage and had it been in inks, i usually use waterproof ink, so that would've been ok, it's just that the paper is buckled up in spots.
i may have to start cutting down my bristol board so it will fit in my art case.


as promised...
it's another [sfx]Gong![/sfx] fortune cookie moment!

"Wise men make more opportunitites than they find.
Lucky #1, 12, 16, 17, 35, 7, 45"
update-weekends, drawing, rain
i've been busy, as usual.
i'll recap the past couple of weekends here in a bit.

right now, what i'm excited about is that i'm really getting some work accompished on the blue canary's restart. i've penciled 4 pages on the past week. i'm proud of myself. 8^D if i decided to ink them, it won't take too long. what bogs me down is coloring or toning it. i'm not very good at it and it takes so long...for me anyway. i don't know any of the tricks to speed it up and still have it looking half-way decent. i just lose patience with it.
i either need a colorist or a someone with experience at laying tones, but i can't pay. all i can do is give credit. anyone know a colorist or someone experienced with tones willing to work for free?
i'll worry with it later. i'll just concentrate on pencils and story for now.
i'll post a few sneaks of the work i've done so far on my sketchblog. tim, i think you've seen some of it, but there will be something new for you, too.

i'll need to go by the comic shop soon. i doubt i have much in my file, but i still need to go check it.

ooo! it's raining! glorious rain! it hasn't rained in so long. sure am glad everyone's ordering chinese for lunch...that means i won't have to get out in the rain to get something to eat. it's chicken lo mein with white rice for the curious. expect a fortune cookie moment later today.

the past two weekends were fun.
the weekend of the 13th, i was with ken and his parents again at lake norfork. they had fun fishing. the dogs got to frolic on one of the lakes small sandy beaches (most are rock shale,) and i got to sit, relax and catch up on some reading. i found a huge mussel on that beach. ken has a photo of it somewhere. i see if i can snag a copy and will post a link to it.

this past weekend everyone stayed home. ken's parents got a new gas-powered smoker and ken was itching to try it out. let's see, there was a london broil beef roast, a pork boston butt and 2 racks of pork ribs. very yummy! ken's aunt, uncle and cousins were there, as well as his grandmother. it was nice to see them all. ken and i just bummed around, relaxed and i drew while he worked on his 3-d stuff.

i tell ya, having a boyfriend with a huge lightbox and an artograph has come in handy over the past couple of days. i've had some difficulty with getting some drawing to come out like the pencil thumbnail sketch, so i use these to things to transfer that to the paper and go from there. otherwise, i lose the life, the charm that's in the sketch. that artograph of his is nice! i think it's the prism model. it's as good as the one that kept getting stolen from ASU's art dept.
even though we done't get to interact, just be near each other as we work on our creative endeavors means a lot. 8^)


yet another...
fortune cookie moment!

"Your eyes are the windows of your soul
'don't worry-be-happy',
Lucky # 7, 11, 8, 19, 26, 35"

ok, i get a cliche and i'll have that song in my head all day. 9.9
like i said in an earlier post, the people writing these have run out of ideas.
scattered ramblings and a recap of yesterday
another busy day. i can't wait for the weekend. some relaxation time will be nice.

i've noticed the thoughts i blog are more scattered. i change the subject in mid-paragraph. perhaps because i am getting interupted a lot, but more like it just because i'm scatterbrained. not that it matters too, much. i guess this blog is like a space where i can get this stuff out be they thoughts, ideas, etc., examine it and organize them in my head. no wonder my stuff seems so cluttered when i write.

i need to post here more regularly. bingereading and scribbles&sketches get updated more often than this blog. mind, i am busy, but i need to develop a habit of updating something regularly. perhaps i can transfer that habit to my comic.

ken gave me an old blank journal earlier this week. i've been jotting down story ideas & background info for my comic. it seems that ideas and sketches are all i'm able to produce lately. at least i'm doing something on it, but it doesn't seem enough.

why do i hold myself back? am i scared of something? i know i'm ashamed for not updating regularly. it's gotten to the point where i can really consider myself a cartoonist on some days and that is just sad. it's been my goal for so long.
i wake up in the morning and go to work at douglas and i find myself angry when i get there. part of it is to do with kevin and alan. yes, i am chronically late. yes, i did get written up for it finally.
i still think that a.) he should have talked to me about having to write me up, and stuff. no, he just tossed the write up form on my desk and said, "i need you to sign this." no tact at all. >8^(
b.) i have a hard time respecting kevin and alan. true, it can get annoying their little attempts to make people jump (they hide behind corners and shout "boo!") but when they have to re-create one of these for the security cameras because it ran out of tape earlier and then show it off to everyone in the office... real professional behavior, guys. go back to high school.
i'm not saying that there can't be a little fun in the office. a joke here and there. a little chatting and goofing off to blow off some stress, but these two... *shakes head*
i think i may have rambled about this before. i'm getting like mom, repeating things.

another part of my morning anger maybe that i feel frustrated with my work-designwise and comicwise. it's like i'm wasting my time with other people's work and not my own. and it's true.

it's difficult to me to see the obvious. i'm know among my friends for being one half of the "obilvious twins," so when i finally notice that i need to look inside myself and be introspective, i find it very difficult. i second guess what i see and perceive. is what i see what others see? should i get their thoughts or try to wade through it on my own. for me, getting introspective means looking at a grime incrusted and cracked mirror. it's image isn't clear and takes alot of work to sort out. maybe that's why i usually avoid it. trying to figure out what i need to do from here isn't easy.

it also doesn't help that i have the attention span of a hyperactive ferret (ooo! shiny!) prime example: last night i interrupt a goodnight kiss from ken because i saw a luna moth. i had never seen one alive or up close before. it was roughed up with a chuck out of one wing but i was fascinated. it was elegant, despite it's ragged wings. (btw, i finished that kiss! i believe ken has come to terms with my short-attention span, but i wasn't going to leave the boy hanging over a bug, regardless of it's beauty. also, i think ken likes to show me the wildlife that does live on his parents' land. there is nothing quite like the night sky out there, away from the street lights and the orchestra of crickets, cicadas and frogs.)

i will say one thing. i see things out at his parents' place that i have only seen on tv or in books. weiner never had much beyond frogs, blue jays and mockingbirds, grasshoppers, crickets, earthworms and tons of mosquitos. i would never have seen a praying mantis up close if shalon jones hadn't brought one to class in second grade (or was it third?)
through seeing these things up close out at ken's parents, i seem to reclaim my sense of wonder, a part of my childhood that i thought i was fast losing. maybe i never saw these things when i was younger is that i simply never looked for them, never patient enough. *shrugs* so, who can blame my excitement over the luna moth?

lol speaking of which, a beetle has gotten in my office, black and about 1.5 to 2 inches long. i can
hear a skritching noise every now and then, which lets me know where he is, however the noise is starting to get on my nerves. i'll put him back outside shortly.

ok, on to yesterday's events: i got paid, which always a good thing. i worked til almost 7 at graphix and i posted to my sketchblog (the icons/avatars i mentioned eariler are finally up.)
i visited ken & saw how his new 3D project is coming along. 8^) played more katamari (i finally got star 4! i also completed star 5 and the constellations of cygnus and corona borealis.) i also got katamaris big enough to roll up people and cows! *moo!*
the music is just so darn catchy in that game. i'm

gonna have to get the soundtrack. it's a nice way to relieve stress. it's so cute, so hokey and cheesy, you can't help but smile.


making stars
since ken was nice enough to hook up his ps2 the other night just for me, i splurged and bought a game: katamari damacy. i've heard a lot about it so i decided to give it a try.

this game is so cute and corny! i love it.
jo, i think you would like this game, too. i made the first 3 stars and the constellation of cancer last night. i'm still working on star 4, but it's being snarky. sometimes i end up in areas where my katamari is too big for one area, or big enough to go to an area, but too small to get things to stick to it.
the game is addictive and fun. i'll have to get the sequel when it comes out.

the soundtrack is down right addictive. i keep humming bits to myself. very enjoyable.
this looks like a job for emergency pants!
boy, i'm clutzy this week.
yesterday, i went home for lunch and had a little clothing accident. i had put on a new pair of khakis and wash the dirty ones.

today, i was sitting at my desk at work when i lost my grip on my water glass and it spilled in my lap. >8^(
i hate wet clothes. ick.
i was going to go home and change but carter took my car to change the oil. 9.9 oy. don't get me wrong, i'm glad he's changing my oil, but talk about bad timing! of course, this is my fault. and i'll prolly be dry by the time he returns my car. good thing it was water and won't stain.

i rotated my jean skirt around so i'm not sitting in a wet spot. i looks funny to see back pockets were they are not supposed to be. plus, i got my chair all wet, too, so it's out in the sun drying.

good thing it spilled on my lap instead of my computer, but man this just further bruises my pride.


i'm tired and very whiny

ken's right. i'm stretched too thin.
i decided to take on some more design work for cindy at graphix back around march. i needed the design experience, because frankly, i wasn't getting here at douglas. it also filled up the lonely days until he came back home. (the weekend before last, btw.) it even looked like i could go to work for cindy full-time, but worries about insurance and all is crushing that idea. i work 7am to 4pm at douglas then go straight to graphix and work until 6 or 7 p.m. it helps, i get paid enough to help cover gas, sometimes more. (man, that stuff's expensive! i remember being angry when it rose to a $1.14 back in college. 9.9 that does it. my next car will be a hybrid. ) however, i hardly get enough free time to do anything! i go non-stop until it's time to sleep. 8^(
since ken has been back home, i usually go out to his 'rents place and visit. so i don't get to spend much time with him except for weekends.

this weekend was nice, though it started really busy! it soon got relaxing and ended all to quickly.
first, i needed some girl time with jo. she was moving back to lawrence on monday. so she, alice and i had dinner at tamolly's and visited back at my place. ken dropped by later and showed everyone what projects he had been working on for the past year. we played music, there was much sharing of the tunage on jo's mac (thanks, jo! i'm enjoying spamalot and the college accapella!) and a good time was had by all. jo helped me by designing a coat of arms for the Von Creepensteins. yay! hey alice! can you make them into patches? i'd like one.
jo crashed for the night and we chatted a bit in the morning.
but no sleeping in for me. nope, i was up early to get ready for the lake. ken and his folks were going and i didn't want to be left behind. mostly because i hadn't seen much of him this past year. it did come to may attention when i got home that that saturday marked 5 years that he and i have been dating. 8^) another good reason to spend time with him that weekend.

the lake was very relaxing and very much needed. just riding around on the pontoon with the family and the two dogs, goldie and lucky, relieved a lot of stress. boy, those dogs were having fun. they love the lake. ken and his dad fished, lucky and goldie tried to get every fish that caught and ken's mom controlled the trolling motor. saturday night they tried to do some night finishing. i'm glad ken's mom found that spare jacket, i would've froze. it was nice out that night. it had just rained, which cooled everything off. ken's dad wasn't too sure about going out with the rain, but it stopped shortly after we got on the lake. i had forgotten my backpack so all i could do was enjoy the ride (which was nice,) and watch ken fish.

sunday we got up and went to the lake again after breakfast. it was hot, but it cooled off considerably on the water. there was a nice breeze when we had the engine running. ahhh. it was grand. 8^) i didn't even get cold while the engine was running. it was perfect. there was more fishing. i sketched and just enjoyed the scenery. i just need to bring more snacks and get a DS or a PSP to take along. *sigh* weekends are too short and money is too tight.

we have got to find a way to go see doug and c this weekend.

i'm hardly getting anytime for sketching at all except on weekends, and i usually want to spend my time with ken instead of drawing.

the big bosses are at work this week and i really don't want to be here. i just want to do my own work. i need to clean my apartment. i need to draw more! my art is much more important that this crap! i don't need to take orders over the phone; i need to layout my own stories and ideas. i wanna work on my comics. i want to make collages. i want to get back into photography.
sorry, but my thought's aren't all that organized these days and i find myself just getting angry and frustrated more and more. expect rants about work. bleh. maybe it's hormones. *shrugs*

ken's working hard on some more pieces for his portfolio. he's never one to rest on his laurels. 8^) he'll do well, it'll just take time. i know he hates being unemployed. it doesn't matter to me though. he wasn't employed when we first started dating. i just want more time with him.
i did visit him again last night and he was sweet enough to hook up his ps2 so i could play while he worked on 3D stuff. not the most romantic evening, but sometimes it's nice to know that the person is in the room with you, even if they are doing other things.

i did find some time to play around in photoshop yesterday (techincally it's not playing, it practising my skills, but i digress. it was a nice creative release.) i decided to make some avatar icons using some stock photos i found. this site has tons of great stock photos, all free. these photos are not mine, i only borrowed them. i was making one for my bookblog, but blogger doesn't use avatars much, does it? guess you can tell that i've spent too much time reading friend's ljs. you can see them at my lj, as well as the von creepenstein device. i'll post them later this evening.

update (later that afternoon): one of the big bosses complimented my design on that sale incentive booklet i did a few weeks ago. i'm sure i blogged about it's creation and lack of time to do it right. well, while it doesn't fix everything that's wrong with working here, it does abate my anger, for the time being. 8^)

further edit (8-10-05):did i say i would post those images later that day? i meant the next day. got busy. sorry!


basic info email meme
i was searching through old emails from like 1999 or so, looking for the "darn cheap monkeys," joke when i stumbled across this. remember these meme e-mails they used to have before livejournals and blogs? well, i decided to redo this one for old times sake and post it here, because i can.
this was from an old e-mail from kourtney.

NAME: Kathryn Marie White, "Kitty" to family, either "Kat" or "Kit" to friends, depending.

SEX: female

HEIGHT: about...oh, 5'7" i suppose.

HOME: Jonesboro, AR

EYES: Brown, with some green flecks, near sighted & astigmatic.

HAIR COLOR: dark brown and curly

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT Ouija BOARDS? hmmm. i've only played with one once, with jo and kort. all we got was nonsense, nothing coherent at all. but i don't think i'll play with one again. it was kinda creepy. it didn't feel right.

YOUR FAVORITE TV SHOW? no watch TV much, can't afford cable. when i can watch TV, like at dad's, i do enjoy educational shows on archeology digs and ancient eygpt, home improvement type shows and lots of cartoons.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? don't have one. i love my optical mouse. (man, this questions dates this thing, don't it?)

FAVORITE BOARD GAME: hmmmm. good ol' monopoly. can't think of any others at the moment. although i am quite partial to apples to apples and chez geek.

FAVORITE MAGAZINE: National Geographic

FAVORITE SMELL: it's a toss up between Bourbon French's La Pluie perfume and freshly-baked cookies.


BEST FEELING IN THE WORLD: knowing that both the love of my life & one of my best friends are going to be home this weekend!

FAVORITE THINGS TO DO ON THE WEEKENDS: hang with friends like alice or caroline, go to the comic shop, draw or other creative endeavors, surf the net, etc.

FAVORITE SOUNDTRACK: 3-way tie: "Avenue Q," "The Producers" & "Raiders of the Lost Ark."

WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?: something like this: "uuuuggghhhh...huh?"

DO YOU GET MOTION SICKNESS? no. i can even read a book while riding in a car. or i can sit facing the rear-window and be fine.

ROLLER COASTERS~ DEADLY OR EXCITING? depends on the coaster and where i'm sitting on the ride. i will however go on any coaster as long as ken goes with me.

PEN OR PENCIL? pencil when drawing, pen for everything else.

HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? depends on how close i am to the phone when it rings. if it rings more than twice, then i was on the other side of the apartment when it rang.

FUTURE SONS NAME: dunno. when & if i have any kids, i'll think on it then.

FUTURE DAUGHTER'S NAME: again, this will be if & when i have a kid, but the name is almost set is stone. Hollen Elizabeth, after my grandfather's little sister who died in the big flu epidemic during the early 1900s at age 9.

FAVORITE FOODS: chicken tortilla soup, grilled salmon, anything ken has cooked in the smoker, fresh corn on the cob, homemade chicken n' dumplin's, fresh crab legs or other seafood, homemade biscuits, sweet potato casserole, chocolate!, dad's taco soup, anything mom's bakes (cookies, cakes,etc.,) our family's very own poor boy eclairs, hot tea, general tso's chicken, and way too much to continue to list.

DO YOU GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS: yeah, i get along ok. nothing's perfect, but what is?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN CONVICTED OF A CRIME: nope. pretty law-abiding here.

CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? need you ask? chocolate.

FAVORITE ICE CREAM: mint choc chip


DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE?: as long as it's not to work, yes.


THUNDERSTORMS~ COOL OR SCARY? cool, unless there's a tornado warning out.

WHAT TYPE OF CAR WAS YOUR FIRST CAR: an '88 light blue dodge omni i named "squealer," because it's belts squealed.

Dead: Dr. Suess or Charles "Sparky" Shultz

FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK: hard cider, preferably raspberry flavored. just one is enough for me, thanks.

WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN? gemini. in the chinese zodiac i'm a snake. *hisss*

WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE POET? shel silverstein & dr. suess.



GIRLS--WOULD YOU EVER ASK A GUY FOR HIS SHIRT? yes, and i have have, too! when ken moved to OK for that computer animation degree, i asked for a couple of his old t-shirts.

IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED, WHAT WOULD IT BE? to be a full-time cartoonist/comic artist. duh.

IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD IT BE? what it is now, but with a bright red steak.

A.) i can never decide what i want and,
B.) by the time i do figure out what i want, i can't figure out where to put.
C.) and when i figure out where to put it, i've changed my mind about what i want. doesn't look like i'll ever be getting one. *shrugs*

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes, and i still am.

WHAT IS ON YOUR WALLS IN YOUR ROOM? nothing. i need to get a stud finder to hang some things up.

IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL? dunno...um... C. indecisive.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE SNAPPLE?: Do people still drink that stuff?

FAVORITE MOVIE(S)?: depends on my mood. my favs include:
"The Princess Bride," "Young Frankenstein," "Airplane," "The Nightmare Before Christmas," "Spirited Away," "Monty Python & the Holy Grail," "History of the World, Part I," etc.

ARE YOU A RIGHTY, LEFTY OR AMBIDEXTROUS? righty, but when i was in first grade, i taught my left hand to write and it took over. then in second, i retaught my right. i was going to swtich again in third grade, but we got to cursive writing and i never got around to it.



WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? boxes of art supplies that i have no room to put elsewhere, dust bunnies, etc.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER?: 3, because i was born on a 3rd of the month.

WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?: either a volkswagen beetle (either old or new,) a mini cooper, or something retro from the fourties that has been retro-fitted for a/c and a cd player.



PERSON YOU SENT THIS TO, WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND: none, cause this is a blog entry now.

in other news, jo made it home safely! yay! she and i are going to meet up with alice soon for a dinner at Ta'Molly's.


summing up
it's has been awhile and much has happened. this will be a long post.

ken's last day of classes is this friday! 8^) and his professors have given him an extra week to work on his portfolio. i'm really happy that he's coming home. he's shown me some of this work-he's really progressed and is really prodding buttock in his classes. he's the best one there and that's not just a biased opinion 'cuz i'm dating him: he won an award for being the most technically skilled in his class and is impressing the heck out of the professors. 8^) still, he's worried about being able to find a job. i believe in him, though. i have yet to see him flop on a job interview. he's the most determined and goal-oriented person i've ever known.

thing is, the last weekend of july, his parents and his uncle bub are going down to help him move out just like they did when he moved in. i tagged along then and i'd like to tag along now, but i don't think his parents will want to pay for a hotel room for me. not that i blame them; i was a little embarrassed that they did that last time. still, i want to help. we'll see how that goes. i'm afraid that i may have invited myself along and i've seen what happens when folks do that...

i've missed him terribly and i'm glad he's finally coming home!

he's not the only one coming home! one of my best-est friends, jo, has been in stuttgart, germany for the past year studing the language and culture. she's been having fun and trying to stay single (i'm still proud of her to trying her darnest to stick to this) but it's time to come home! she'll have to go back to UK at Lawrence, but i at least want time to visit, just hang out and go over the Radiant speech with her.
come home safe, jo!

now, to mom.
she hasn't moved off or anything but for my mother, when it rains, it pours. first, she has a chemical imbalance which results in being bi-polar. only mom doesn't get too manic. she just gets normal. she mostly gets the depressive side of it. i just don't know what to do sometimes with this. first, mom usually doesn't tell folks how she feels. my grandmother instilled on her impression that she shouldn't show her emotions and pain, so they build up inside her to the breaking point.
so, if mom finally tells that she's feeling sad, sick or hurt, you know she's really sick or hurt. her tolerance for pain is that high, but she does feel and can only take so much.

a few years ago, she got off disability, went to school to become a CNA and got a full-time job at a nursing home. now, she's 30 years older than me and i'm 28 now. she's not an old fogey but her job does but stress on both body and emotional well-being (and we already know what shape poor mom's emotions are in.) but i am proud of her for trying. she felt called to help those less fortunate than she. she loves looking after the folks who live there, it's her co-workers, her fellow CNAs that she has trouble getting along with. they are younger and don't want to work. they dump all the responsibilities on mom and watch tv. >8^(
lots of times mom will get a whole hall to herself.
they won't fire anyone because they are so short-handed. and not for a moment does anyone think that mom can't cope or deal with it. mostly she can, she's the strongest person i know, but not all the time! she' been getting more and more tired/exhausted lately. and her co-workers don't understand that it's not the type of tired where after a bunch of sleep she'll be fine again.
she finally went onto part-time hours and has re-applied to disability. it's starting to get to her.
she has been denied on disability. but is appealing. if she is denied again, i don't know what to do. neither does she. she just doesn't want to lose the house in weiner or worse, her cats.
one a happier note, she has reconnected with larry, an old childhood friend. she saw him when she went to visit her sister in dallas and they have been exchanging e-mails. which is good, but unfortunately her computer gave out. so she comes to borrow "mine," (techinically it's ken's. i'm borrowing it because my modem is out.)

prayers for mom would be appreiciated and very helpful.

on the job front (warning: rant alert!)
we're not happy at douglas, no precious, not at all! i've been there a little over 3 years and i've relized how naive i've been. i'm not a designer to them, i'm a secretary with extra skills; i'm the office gopher, always sent to run errands. i didn't get a degree for this! i've learned the hard way that it's sucks working for a family-owned business unless you are a member of said family.
most of the cool projects get done out of house and i'm not even consulted. >8^(
i feel like my design skills have atrophied.

i'm trying to get hired on over at Graphix, where i did my internship. at least i'd been doing design work. 9.9
the thing is i'm worried about insurance. yeah, i know cindy can't afford to get my all the benefits i get here at douglas, but i don't want to stay someplace where i'll be miserable just to keep benefits. after all, i'm am artist as well as a designer. i don't want to just settle for the safe thing when i can take a risky chance and maybe do something that would make me much happier in life.

so, i'm doing some free-lance work at Graphix as soon as i get off for the day as douglas. that means about 1-3 hours extra work. no wonder i'm tired now!

this past couple of weeks at douglas really sucked! they had me in the back warehouse, with no a/c, peeling labels off of racks that were going to be taken down and sent to the new expanded warehouse in conway. i got a BFA for this crap! well, in the middle of that, they decided about 5pm one day that i was going to the warehouse in conway to meet with susie about a design project. yes! design work! finally.
of course, they coulda told me about going down there earlier! *grrrrr!*

there are some good things there. t and b have always been nice, but sometimes i just can't wait until the day i can pack up my office and hum "Take this job and shove it" or "hit the road, jack" under my breath.
but for this week at least, i'm designing again. i don't plan on it lasting however.
i am going to enjoy working in my office with the a/c.
ok, enough ranting about that.

in other news...
*i've developed a fasicination with bento boxes over the past month. i have 3! now i just need a rice cooker so i can start making some decent food to put in them. i just love the idea of cute little lunch boxes.

*a new comic shop, Galaxy Comics & Games, has opened! it's where Legends used to be behind the pizza inn on Caraway, so if you know Jonesboro, AR, go check it out! i even designed a flyer, pro bono, for them.they loved it. i'm so happy!
the talented stan kortan, fellow ASU alum designed the logo.

*i have finally broke down and got a livejournal. it's a sketchblog, so the real-life stuff will stay here. and that means, i'm drawing more! still just sketches, but i am working on the relaunch of blue canary! i'm excited! i just need to get my butt in gear and just draw.

*i got the latest harry potter! yes, i'm a book geek as well as an art geek. c and i went to the midnight launch at books.a.couple (as jo calls it,) and who did i bump into? hillary creech, nee keller. it was a blast catching up with her. she has photos of the HBP release party on her lj!

i had forgotten how much fun i had hanging out with her and beth and the others during the school play rehearsals.
and speaking of beth, i bumped into her a few months ago. 8^) that reminds me, i need to contact her and see if she's up for hanging out at coffee shop or something (i'm so wild, can you tell?)
and for awhile i thought i had permenantly lost touch with the gang, grown apart etc. it's good to be wrong sometimes.

however, as cool as it was to hang with hillary and her friends at the HBP launch, a total fanboy loser otaku would not leave us alone that night! he was a creepy one, though not as bad creepy and icky as the doofus who got kicked of the herald staff whose name i will not mention. yuck. sounds like hill's friend, the hygiene fairy could've been useful here. if that wouldn't make him go away, nuthing would. 6^)P LOL

*over the past year, ken has gotten me hooked on itunes and mp3s. i've gone nuts. 9.63 Gigs of music. *sigh* i just wish i had an ipod now. he's been collecting them from his classmates and sharing them with me too. plus jo, will send one or two every now and then from germany. gotta love my music.

*last but not least, c and i went to a bead show in memphis this last sunday. i got a good haul!
yup, making jewelry is a hobby of mine. i'm proud of myself for back in may, i completed my first successful 2-strand piece: a bracelet with rainbow flourite chips and assorted silver beads. Ta-Da!
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

i've already turned the strand multi-toned carnelian beads i got sunday into a necklace (i've had a silver pendant/bead that i've been struggling to find the right beads to go with it.) the bead has some chinese characters on it, but i can't read it and it's hard to make out in the photo. but i love how it turned out.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

i also got:
2 strands of rainbow moonstone, both about 4mm round
2 strands of garnet (one is 3-4mm round, the other is little rectangles
1 silk cord
1 stone pendant and 4 stone ending beads
1 strand of ceramic maneki nekos beads for alice (she loves the good luck kitties!)
some random silver beads and findings including 2 silver toggle clasps and such.
i'll post the finished products as i complete them.

i've discovered over my years of fooling around with beads that i like making pieces with real semi-precious stones and silver. i can make do with glass and pewter, but don't get me near that plated stuff.
i'm not too fond of yellow gold. it's so overdone.
i like silver. it's affordable, has a nice, warm glow amoung the coolness of the color and, if need by i can kill werewolves with it. 6^)P

the bead show overall was cool and c was very helpful as the voice of reason, ("kit your budget is $$, if you get that, you'll have spent half of it.") we read HBP each other and just had fun. 8^) in fact, i had finished the book the night before and she just finished it yesterday. we exchanged much text messaging about the book.

c did find a cute cresent moon made of mother of pearl that i'll try to make into a piece for her, most likely a necklace.


bwah! ha! ha! ha!
i'm making vendor order forms for the company's annual food show.
good thing i spotted this before the final forms are done-
bad thing it saw print in the food order guide for the customers.
i wonder if the person who typed this originally was having a "crappy" day?

i'll blog more in detail on this past month later.
(jo was home! ken was home! midsouthcon was fun!
the comic shop got broken into!)


big bang!
for those you, i.e. supervillians, madmen, etc., who have always wanted to destroy the earth, then this link is for you!

can't say i'm not helpful! 6^)P


around 8 or so this morning, i heard a pop and thud from upstairs at work. the building shook a bit.
"what are those idiots doing up there?" i thought.
then, when the shaking went on longer than it should, i wondered...was it an earthquake?

the only one i've been through i didn't even feel. back in high school, there was an mini-earthquake during our school plays. our auditorium doubled as our cafeteria. i was a member of the cast and too focused on the show. mom was in the audience and told me later that she heard silverware rattling in the back.

the radio is saying it's a 4.2 on the richter scale with an epicenter somewhere 16 miles north-northwest of Osceola.
calls into the radio station report broken windows in Monette and pictures off the wall around Hwy. 351.
all i felt here was a gentle shake.
i wonder if this is it for awhile or if it's a precursor the big one they've been predicting for this area as long as i can remember...


well, the procedure was this morning. mom came along for moral support and because i can't drive for 24 hours after. i won't talk about the purge i had to do during the weekened except to say that:
A. it ain't fun! liquid diets suck. but i didn't complain too much about that because...
B. that liquid laxative was right up there with the potassium chloride as some the nastiest tasting gunk ever. plus, it made me sick to my stomach, so i didn't miss food, liquid or solid.

the procedure went smoothly. i got there early, filled out the paperwork (even though i felt sick to my stomach and not because i was nervous.) they had to stick in another i.v. 8^P
the poor nurse had difficulty finding a vein, since mine hide and roll whenever i'm stuck with a needle. she was appolgetic about it and got another nurse who had more luck. that one got it on the first try. both the nurses were very sweet.

after a little bit, they wheeled me to the room and hooked me up with electrodes. the doctor introduced himself and then the nurses administered the knock-out juice. *thank God for that! this was the last thing i wanted to remember...*
next thing i knew, i was back in that little room with mom. i was out of it. wobbly, dizzy-it's probably the closest i've ever been to being druck. ken called while i was trying to wake up. i can't remember what i said to him, only that i talked to him. lol
perhaps it will give him something to laugh about. 8^)

the doctor's verdict? everything looks good-just eat more fiber. *whew* i'm glad it wasn't more serious!
they released me soon after and i went home and crashed.

about noon, ken called to see how i was. by then i was more bright-eyed and could speak coherently. it was comforting to talk with him. after he had to go to class, mom went and got me some real food-yeah, a burger. lol
she also got me some of that good prepridge farm cinnamon raison bread. nummy!

i'm just going to take it easy today and rest. tomorrow, i'm back at work.
in other news-the modem is out on my regular computer. ken let me hook up his vaio to the internet in the meantime.
jo is swiftly working on the coding for my blog's redesign. she's doing a fabulous job on it. thanks, jo!


while i've been brainstorming these past few months for blue canary, i've been finding little snippets of books that have been inspiring me. i thought i'd write a few of these down, not only for my reference, but because i want to share. 8^)P
- - - - - - - - - - -
i discovered this while looking through a book of poems. the first thing i thought of after i read it was Amelia and Ferdinand.


Hope is a thing with feathers
That perches in the soul,
And sings a tune without the words,
And never stops at all,

And sweetest in the gale is heard;
And sore must be the storm
That could abash the little bird
That kept so many warm.

I've heard it in the chillest land,
And on the strangest sea;
Yet, never, in extremity,
It asked a crumb a me.
-Emily Dickenson

These also caught my eye while re-reading Madeleine L'Engle's "Time Quartet". The quotes are from the second book, A Wind in the Door.

"Then he rose up into the night like a great, flapping bird, flew, screaming across the sky, became a rent, an emptiness, a slash of nothingness-"
" 'You say he was like a dark bird, but a bird that was nothingness, and that he tore the sky?' "


If Ferdinand to Amelia is not just happiness, but hope and light as well, then if he is protecting her, then surely there would be an opposite, something to protect her from...birds of darkness, shadow and void. 8^) brainstorming is fun!

normally, i would be in a little pocket of guilt and shame located under a rock somewhere for letting my comic go so long without a true update, but as i delve into who these characters are and brainstorm on their histories, i'm glad i stopped when i did. now, i can restart the comic and put in little hints and foreshadowing of these things as i go along. i can actually tell a story instead of just trying to continue an adventure and make it funny every week. not, that i'm going to stop the humor, but..well, you understand.
don't get me wrong, i still feel like a poser, a fake and a big flake for stopping my comic and just vanishing like i did; like i have no right to even call myself a cartoonist, but now i have a sense a purpose as to where i'm leading the characters, and they have more a say in how they go there.

i've started writing a script for the first chapter. this time when i start drawing, i will know where i'm going.

oh, btw-thanks jo, kellie and everyone else for the prayers. i'm sorry i worried you guys, but i am feeling back to my normal self, except now i'm dreading the 7th. 9.9 oy.